


Unexpected Betrayals

by Walkerbaby



Series: An Unexpected Life [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alpha/Omega, Angst, F/M, M/M, So much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-17
Updated: 2013-07-11
Packaged: 2017-12-15 07:01:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/846687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Walkerbaby/pseuds/Walkerbaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili and Kili are bonded, in Erebor, and expecting a child. Then a crone shows up the door with the Prince's heir. The only problem? The boy isn't Fili's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> An alternate omegaverse. This was supposed to be fourth in the series that started with An Unexpected Love but the stories didn't match up. So this is a stand alone.

“So.” Fili pressed his lovely consort back against the bed and began removing his trousers.  “I hear that our son was very active today.”

“He--” Kili gasped as Fili managed to get his brother-- and consort’s-- trousers down and promptly swallowed him down whole, not bothering to give him any warning first.

“Mmmmm.” Fili groaned, waiting for Kili to finish.

“The midwife said that it’s normal for babes to be restless this close to the due date,” Kili moaned.  “Oh Mahal, I can’t even see you down there because of how enormous I’ve become.”

Fili pulled back and licked around the swollen tip of his brother’s flushed cock.  “You’re not enormous, you’re beautiful azyungal.”

“Enormous.” Kili huffed.

“Lush.” Fili kissed where his consort’s his knobby hip bone had once been-- before Kili had softened and become more voluptuous as his pregnancy progressed-- and let his hand trail down to cup Kili’s balls, rolling them careful and listening to his brother hiss in delight.  “Fruitful.  Fecund.”

“You sound like Bilbo talking about the fields back in the Shire.” Kili arched upwards. 

“Would you like me to plow you?” Fili wiggled his eyebrows at him and Kili smiled.

“Please,” Kili moaned.  “Come up here and fuck me already. I’ve missed you so much today.  So much Fili.  It’s boring here in our apartments all day without you.  I know I’m supposed to be resting but there’s nothing for me to do.”

“Missed you too Kee.” Fili kissed his the swollen curve at the underside of Kili’s distended stomach and then began to lick along the length of his brother’s cock.  “Are we supposed to though?”

“Does it matter?” Kili gasped and bucked against him.  “I want you Fee.  Want to feel you inside me.  Please.”

“Did the midwife say that it was safe?” Fili persisted.  “This close to your due date is it safe for you and the babe?”

“The midwife is overly cautious,” Kili whimpered and began to press his hips upward.  “We’ll be fine.  Come up here and get inside me.’

“Not without the midwife’s permission.” Fili began laving his brother’s cock with his tongue and then swallowed it down again, hollowing out his cheeks and beginning to suck.

“Fee!” Kili gasped, tossing his head back and forth on the pillow, bucking his hips against Fili’s mouth.  “Fee!”

Fili couldn’t help grinning around his brother’s cock as Kili began to squirm underneath him.  Throughout the entire pregnancy his brother had been insatiable, demanding sex whenever he and Fili had a free moment.  Whenever and wherever they’d had privacy he’d found himself with his trousers around his ankles and his cock in Kili’s arse, his consort begging him for release.  Usually along the lines of Harder!  Faster!  Fuck Me Now Fili Damn It!

Then, two months ago, Kili had his first quickening pains and the midwife had counseled them to be cautious.  Kili had made it through the perils of the first trimester and the threat of an early miscarriage now their only concern was preventing an early delivery and the complications that would come from that.  Since that day Fili had spent at least part of every day with his brother’s cock in his mouth, fisting his own cock to completion as Kili mewled out obscenities above him.

“Please!” Kili howled.  “Please, please, please Fee.”

There was a sharp jerk and his brother’s salty sweet essence filled his mouth.  Fili swallowed quickly, taking all of it without spilling a drop. 

Kili flopped back, bonelessly against their mattress as Fili licked his brother clean, and then crawled slowly up to collapse beside him.  “Did you...?” Kili whispered, his voice low and dreamy.

“It’s fine.” Fili stroked his hand over his brother’s face, pushing his sweaty hair back.  “Let me take care of you.”

“You sure?” Kili asked drowsily.

“I’ll take care of it later,” Fili murmured and pressed a kiss against his forehead.  “You just tell me about your day.”

“Nothing happened,” Kili sighed as he slipped his fingers into Fili’s trousers and wrapped them around his cock, starting to stroke his brother slowly.  “I’ve been in our rooms all day.  The midwife came.  She listened to my stomach.  Told me everything was fine.  Then she left and I’ve been all alone ever since.”

“Kili,” he groaned against his brother’s neck as the other dwarf’s hand began to stroke faster, his grip tightening at the same time, causing Fili’s hips to rock in time with his strokes.  “Does she say that things are progressing normally?”

“Everything is fine.  Now, what did you do today?  How was the council meeting?” Kili asked.

“Boring,” Fili panted.  “It’s not the same without you there.”

“Tell me about it,” Kili urged, his fingers tightening more.

“Balin wants to open up trade with the people of Bree. He seems to think that we can get some delicacies that they can’t provide in Dale.  Bilbo is fond of the idea of course.  I think he’s already made a grocery list of things he wants Thorin to get for him.”

“One of the perks of being the consort of a powerful dwarf,” Kili said and then tugged on one of Fili’s moustache braids with his free hand, bringing him close enough to kiss.

“So close,” Fili murmured.  “Kili, I’m so--”

There was a sharp rap on the door and they both froze.  “Ignore them,” Kili urged as his hand started to stroke again.

“It could be Thorin,” Fili panted, trying to move away from his brother’s grasping digits.

“I’m your consort, I’m fat and pregnant,  and right now I need you,” Kili purred.  “Thorin can wait until I’m done before he takes you.  I’m your consort and you’re supposed to be pampering me.”

The person on the other end of the door pounded again. Fili felt his erection begin to flag and Kili groaned in frustration.

“Two minutes.” Fili pressed his lips to Kili’s forehead and then pulled away, jerking his trousers up over his still aching erection as he climbed out of the bed.

“That’s going to take too long,” Kili rolled onto his back and wrapped a hand around his once again hard cock, running his fingers along it’s length.

“Be good,” Fili admonished.

“No.” Kili arched, displaying his abundant, pregnant curves to Fili’s gaze.

“Tease,” he muttered as he turned his back on his brother and hurried into their sitting room, leaving the door open so that he could keep an eye on his consort, still pleasuring himself and moaning wantonly in their bed.

Fili jerked open the door, prepared to apologize to Thorin for Kili’s less than subtle performance and froze.  The dwarrowdam crone in front of him was so withered that he couldn’t accurately guess her age.  If it weren’t for the flowered broach on her dirty shawl he wouldn’t have even been sure that it was a dwarrowdam and not an small, exceptionally dirty dwarf.

“Yes?” he asked.  “Can I help you?”

“Fee,” Kili moaned.

“The prince’s son is born.” The woman unwrapped the shawl from around her body and Fili could see a dirty bundle wrapped inside.

“No.” He shook his head.  “My consort isn’t due for three weeks yet.  But thank you for--”

“The prince’s son is born.” She pressed the bundle into his hands and Fili glanced down to see a red, scrunched face with a small tuft of golden hair staring back at him.

“This.” He tried to hand the child back to the crone.  “This child isn’t mine.  I don’t care what anyone told you, this infant isn’t mine.”

“The prince’s child is born,” the crone insisted and then stepped back.

“I’m telling you--” Fili snapped and tried to shove the baby back into her arms.

“The mother is dead, he’s the prince’s problem now.”

“Look.” Fili tried to stop her as she backed away from him, her head bowed, her eyes not meeting his.  “I’m sorry that the child has lost his mother but--”

Before he could finish what he was saying the crone turned and stalked away from him, not sparing him or the child a second glance.  “But--” Fili watched as she retreated down the hall.

“Fili?” Kili called out from the bedroom.

“I’ll be back in a bit Kili.” Fili scowled down at the newborn and tried to figure out what to do.

  He had to see Thorin.  His uncle would know how to handle this.  He’d have to know what to do. Fili had no idea what he was going to do with his own son when it was born, there was no way he could take care of an orphan that some crone had dumped on him before she buggered off.

“What?” He heard his brother pushing their blankets back and then his feet touching the floor.

“Go back to bed Kee.” He glared down at the mewling baby squirming in his arms.

“What’s going on Fee?” He looked up and saw his brother standing in the doorway.  “What’s that?”

“It’s nothing.”

It’ doesn’t look like nothing.” Kili padded toward him.  “It looks like a baby.  A newly born baby at that.  Why do you have a newborn?”

“It’s-...” Fili swallowed.  “It’s a mistake.”

“What kind of mistake has you holding an infant in the middle of our sitting room?”

“It’s just a mistake,” Fili insisted.  “Some crazy crone just showed up at the door and shoved the baby in my arms.  She was mumbling out of her head.  I’m going to Thorin and we’ll figure something out.”

“What did she say?” Kili’s eyes were fixed on the baby.  “What was she mumbling?”

“That the prince’s child was born.”

“The prince’s child?” Kili swallowed.

“She said the mother was dead and the dwarf was the prince’s problem now.  Like I said, she was out of her head.”

“This crone.” Kili’s face had paled.  “Straggly white hair, dirty, ugly thing wrapped around her shoulders?  Smelled a bit like mushrooms?”

Fili wrinkled his nose and realized that his brother was right, the crone had smelled strongly of mushrooms.  “Possibly.  Why?”

“It’s--” Kili stepped away from him and the child, his eyes wide and fixed on the bundle squirming in Fili’s arms.

“It’s nothing Kili.” He shifted the baby onto his shoulder and reached out for Kili with his other hand.  “I swear to you that she was out of her head.  This isn’t my child.”

“The prince’s child,” Kili said quietly, his voice barely more than a whisper as he stared at the child in horror.  “She called it the prince’s child?”

“She was out of her head,” Fili assured him.  “Don’t get upset Kee.  I promise this is a mistake.”

“No.” Kili shook his head and began to back away from them.

“I swear to you Kili, this is not my child.  This is not my son.” He stepped toward his brother, trying to meet his eyes.

“No.” Kili was staring at the child and Fili in horror.

“I promise Kili.  I know the child looks like me--”

“He looks like his mother,” Kili whispered.

“What?” Fili’s eyes widened.

“The baby looks like his mother.”

“And how do you know that?” Fili asked in horror.  “How do you know what the mother looks like?”

Kili stepped away from him, not meeting his eyes.  “Because the child is mine.”

“Excuse me?” Fili asked, sure that he hadn’t heard his consort properly.  “What did you say?”

“I said.” Kili swallowed as he stepped back, his hands cupping his own distended stomach.  “The child isn’t your’s, it’s mine.  I fathered him.  That’s my son.”


	2. Chapter 2

“I don’t think I heard you correctly,” Fili said slowly.  “Did you just say that you, my consort, the dwarran that’s carrying my heir, fathered a child with some dwarromdam?”

“I’m sorry.” Kili swallowed, his eyes wide.  “I’m so sorry.”

“We need to see Thorin,” Fili said.

“Thorin?” Kili asked.

“To find out what we should do about this,” Fili hissed, holding the gurgling baby out away from his shoulder.  “Your son.”

“Fili.” Kili reached out for him.  “We should talk.”

“I don’t want to talk.” Fili shoved the baby into his consort’s arms and then stepped back.  “I want to figure out what we’re going to do about this.  And right now I think Thorin is our best answer.”

“I’m sorry.” Kili stepped closer to him.

“No.” Fili held his hands up in front of him and stepped back.  “No.  I don’t want to hear I’m sorry.  I just want to know how we’re going to deal with this.  We’re going to see Thorin.”

Kili cradled the child between his shoulder and his distended stomach and then nodded once.  “Are you going to put your boots on?”

“No.” Fili grabbed one of his tunics that had somehow ended up on the sitting room floor and pulled it on over his head.  “I don’t think we need to stand on ceremony given the circumstances.”

Kili swallowed and then stepped back into the bedroom, putting the child on their bed before he tugged his own tunic and trouser on before picking the baby back up again.  “Fili.”

“No, we’re not talking.” Fili opened the door and stepped out, waiting for his consort to follow him out of the room before he pulled the door shut and started for Thorin’s apartments, Kili following silently behind.

The child began to wail and Fili flinched.  “What’s wrong with it?”

“I think he’s hungry,” Kili said. 

“So do something about it,” Fili snapped.  “It’s your son after all.”

“I’ll...” Kili trailed off.  “I think I can feed him once we’ve gotten to Thorin’s rooms.  My milk is starting--”

“We’ll send a servant for goat’s milk.”

“I can feed him--”

“Your milk is meant for _our child_ ,” Fili hissed.  “The one you’re carrying, not that thing.”

“I’ll make more than--”

“No.” Fili stopped in front of Thorin’s door and pounded on it.

“Fili can we just--”

“No.” He pounded on his uncle’s door again.

“Whatever it is.” Thorin pulled the door open, his hair unbraided and disheveled, shirtless, with an irritated scowl on his face.  “Fili.”

“We need to talk.” He brushed past his uncle and into Thorin and Bilbo’s sitting room.

“Fili?” Bilbo came into the sitting room, wrapping his patchwork dressing gown around himself and tying the belt around his waist.  He pushed his curls out of his face and stared at them.  “Kili?”

The child began to wail, even louder, and Fili could hear Kili shushing him, bouncing the child against his shoulder.

“Is that a baby?” Bilbo’s eyes widened as he looked between Fili and Kili.  “You had the... Why are you out of bed Kili?  Why didn’t anyone come and get us?”

“My consort is still pregnant,” Fili hissed.

“In.  Sit.” Thorin motioned toward two chairs near the fireplace and then moved to take another one, pulling Bilbo close to him.  “What is going on?  What is that thing and why is it crying?”

“That.” Fili glared at his brother as Kili opened the front of his tunic and let the baby nestle against his newly swollen breast.  The child let out a small coo and then Fili heard his brother hiss as the child latched on.  “That would be Kili’s son.  The child he fathered.”

“Fathered?” Bilbo looked between them.  “But he’s a dwarran.  I thought they bore children not fathered them.”

“They can do both,” Thorin said quietly.  “They have both male and female parts.  They can both father and bear dwarrows.”

“And my brother fathered that whelp,” Fili motioned toward the two of them.

“Now you can’t be sure...” Bilbo started.

“Kili?” Thorin glared at his nephew.  “Is this true?”

“Yes.” Kili nodded.  “I’m so sorry. Thorin, Fili, I am so, so sorry.”

“Explain,” Thorin snapped.

“I.” Kili swallowed.

“Did you have an affair with some dwarrowdam?” Fili hissed.  “Did you bed some slut and get her pregnant?”

“It was one time.”

“When?” Thorin asked.

“That should be obvious,” Fili snapped.  “Ten months ago.  Four months after our bonding ceremony.  Four months after we pledged ourselves to each other in front of Mahal and all our people.”

“Kili.” Thorin’s voice was cold.  “When did this happen?”

“The second night of Dain’s visit,” Kili whispered.  “When you rode out on the royal hunt.  The one I wasn’t allowed to attend because I’m now Fili’s official consort instead of just his common law mate and that means vigorous exercise is forbidden to me.”

“I told you.” Fili’s eyes widened.  “It wasn’t my choice.  I would have taken you with us if it weren’t for Dain and his stupid adherence to dwarven traditions.  I know that you’re just as capable as the next dwarf.  That doesn’t mean you should have gone out and broken our bonding vows by sleeping with someone else.”

“But you didn’t take me,” Kili hissed.  “You left me behind.  Like some sort of soft skinned lass that couldn’t take care of herself.  I fought beside both of you to defend Erebor and now you’re trying to hide me inside this stupid mountain like I’m somehow breakable.  Like I’m made of glass.”

“You are breakable.” Fili snapped.  “You’re carrying my child.”

“I wasn’t then though!”

“Enough.” Bilbo stepped between them, blocking Kili and the baby from Thorin and Fili’s twin glares.  “Enough all of you.  This isn’t helping anything, the three of you yelling at each other and giving each other nasty looks.  Now, Kili what happened?”

“Thorin and Fili went on the hunt with Dain and I went to a tavern in the east tunnels.”

“The east tunnels?” Thorin’s eyes widened.  “Why would you have gone there?  The east tunnels are notoriously dangerous. Dwalin and his guards are constantly--”

“No one there cared that I was Prince Fili’s consort.  I was just another dwarf looking to get drunk.”

“And once you got drunk...” Bilbo trailed off.

“There was a barmaid who’s hair looked a lot like Fili’s.  Golden colored and her moustache braids resembled his.” Kili let out a small sob.  “And I got very drunk and then things got a bit...”

“A bit?” Fili asked, his voice sharpening in pain at the idea that Kili had gone out and found a dwarrowdam version of him to get his revenge with.  Revenge for something he’d had absolutely no control over.

“A bit chaotic.” Kili shifted the baby away from his breast and lifted it to his shoulder, patting the child rythmically on the back.  “It’s all a bit hazy really.  I remember drinking and then something in my lap and then there are flashes--” Kili swallowed.

“Flashes of what?” Thorin asked.

“Well.” Kili swallowed.  “ _You know._  I woke up early the next morning on a pallet in the east tunnels with a naked, blonde dwarrowdam beside me and we had um...”

“You had sex,” Fili said quietly.  “You had sex Kili.  You gave your body, the body that you promised to me and me alone, to someone else.”

“That doesn’t mean the child is necessarily your’s,” Thorin said.  “It could be any of a hundred dwarves children.”

“There was blood on the pallet.” Kili swallowed.  “She was, um, a...”

“Oh Mahal.” Fili threw his hands up and started pacing, tugging on his braids.  “You bedded a virgin dwarrowdam?  You couldn’t have just found a whore to ruin yourself with?  Someone who would take your gold and go?  No, you had to go and bed some innocent.”

“She came to me a few months later and told me she was pregnant,” Kili said quickly, his eyes searching out Fili’s as his hand fluttered toward his stomach.  “We’d just found out that we were... That I was expecting.  I gave her some gold and she told me she was going to take care of it.  She was going to take care of it and the she was going away.  Back to the Blue Mountains.”

“But she didn’t,” Fili said.  “She didn’t go back to the Blue Mountains.  She didn’t take care of it.  She stayed and she had the child and then she died.”

“So what do we do now?” Bilbo asked.  “What do we do about the child?”

“We foster it out to one of the dwarrowdams,” Thorin said sternly.  “We’ll take the child to Oin and he’ll know of a dwarrowdam that wants a child and isn’t able to bear one.  He’ll take care of it and none of us will ever speak of this again.”

“No.” Kili clutched the child closer and Fili watched as it snuffled against his consort’s breast.

“Kili.” Fili stepped closer.  “You can’t... We can’t...”

“What would you do if it was our child?” Kili snapped.  “If I died would you just send our child out to be adopted by some needy, barren dwarrowdam?”

“That’s different!” Fili roared.  “That’s our child.  _Our child._  Heir to the throne of Erebor.  Not some bastard you made on a pallet in the east tunnels one night while you were drunk!”

“I made a--”

“What do you think will happen if you keep him?” Thorin asked.  “Do you think our people will just accept that the consort of their future king has a child from an affair?  There are laws against such things Kili.  Laws against adultery.  Laws that are stricter for you than they are for regular dwarrans and dwarrowdams.”

“That’s not--” Bilbo started.

“You are the consort to the Heir of Erebor!” Thorin snapped.  “No matter what you think, your body doesn’t belong to you Kili.  Not anymore.”

“I won’t give him away.” Kili shook his head.  “I don’t care what you say about this Thorin, I won’t give him up.  I won’t give him to someone else to care for.”

“So what do we do?” Fili asked.  “If you aren’t going to give him to someone else to raise what do you propose we do?”

“We’ll adopt him ourselves,” Kili said softly.  “Instead of letting Oin foster him out we’ll claim that we’ve decided to take the child in ourselves, as a sibling for our own child.  A playmate.”

“And when the child looks like you?” Thorin asked.  “When people look at him and see the hair and the family resemblance, they’ll know.  Or they’ll think they know and then they’ll talk.”

“And if Kili claims him?” Bilbo asked.  “If he just tells the truth and claims the child as his own?”

“He’ll have to admit to adultery,” Fili said.  “He’ll have to admit that he broke our bond and had sex with another.”

“And the penalty for that is death,” Thorin said quietly.

“What?” Bilbo looked between them as Kili cowered with the child near the fire.

“The penalty for adultery by a consort against a member of the royal line is considered treason,” Thorin said quietly, “and the penalty is death.”

“But--” Kili’s hand went to curl protectively around his stomach.

“That’s barbaric,” Bilbo snapped.

“He’s carrying the future heir,” Thorin continued.  “So we, _I,_ would be lenient. Kili will be kept in seclusion until the child’s birth and once it’s been weaned he and his bastard will be banished.  They’ll no longer welcome in the company of dwarves.  Any dwarves.  They’ll not be able to make their homes among any of the dwarves in Middle Earth.”

“And his child with Fili?” Bilbo asked.

“That child will be third in line for the throne of Erebor.  It will stay here, where it can be protected and learn to rule once Fili’s time as king has passed.”

“Kili.” Fili forced himself to his brother’s side and dropped on his knees in front of him.  “Please.  Please don’t do this.  We can make sure the child has a loving family.  A noble family even.  You’ll be able to see it every day if you like.”

“But--” He watched as tears filled his baby brother’s eyes.  “Fili _please_.  I didn’t mean to hurt you.  I’m sorry.  I’m so so sorry.  Please don’t make me do this.”

Fili pressed his forehead against Kili’s and took a deep breath.  “What is the punishment for me?”

“What?” Thorin asked.

“It’s treason for the consort of the heir to have an affair but I’m not the consort, I’m the heir.  What would the punishment be if it was me who had the affair instead of Kili?”

“A public lashing and a day in the cells,” Thorin said. 

“That’s what we’ll do then.” Fili laced his fingers with Kili’s and pressed their foreheads together.  “I’ll claim the child as mine.  He looks enough like me that no one will question it.”

“And the two of you?” Bilbo asked.  “Will you keep your bond?”

“Fili?” Kili asked quietly.

“We’ll find a way to work through it,” Fili sighed.  “We’ll work something out. Kili is having my child after all.”

“Thank you,” Kili pressed a kiss against Fili’s forehead.

“But only because we have a child coming.” Fili pulled back from him and let his consort’s hand drop.  “I won’t keep our child away from the one who bore him.  If you’re not going to be reasonable and foster your bastard out then this is the only choice we have.  I’ll claim your child as mine and take the punishment.  And we’ll never speak of this again.  Is that understood?  Never again.”

“Yes.” Kili nodded.

“Fili.” Thorin stepped forward.

“We’ll never discuss this again.  Ever.”

“So be it,” Thorin agreed.  “I’ll call the council together in the morning and we’ll set a date for your punishment.  I assume you’d like to get it over with as soon as possible?”

“Right.” Fili nodded.  “Come on Kili.  Let’s leave Uncle Thorin and Bilbo to their rest.”

“Yes Fili.” Kili ducked his head, not meeting his eyes, as he cradled the now sleeping child to his chest.

Instead of waiting for his consort, Fili stalked out of Thorin’s rooms and down the hall toward their own suite of rooms.  “Fili.” Kili trailed out into the hall after him.

“Don’t.” Fili kept walking and didn’t turn back to look at his brother.  “Just don’t say another word.”

“Fili,” Kili followed him into their sitting room.  “I’m--”

“I know you’re sorry,” Fili sighed as he slumped over to the settee and flopped down on it.  “You love me.  It was a mistake.  I don’t need to hear anymore.  Go to bed Kili.  You need your rest.  You and the dwarrow.” He grit his teeth.  _“The dwarrows.”_

“Aren’t you...” Kili looked at their open bedroom door and then at Fili staring at him from the settee.  “Aren’t you coming with me?”

“I don’t think so.” Fili shook his head.  “I think tonight I just want to be alone.”


	3. Chapter 3

Three days. Kili rocked his son slowly back and forth, settling the small child against his shoulder to wind him after his morning feeding.  It had been three days since his mate had looked at him.  Three days since he’d done more than curtly demand that Kili ‘ _feed that thing’_ or _‘shut it up already’_.  Not him, or your son, or even our son.  Because he was now. Fili was going to claim the child as his own and that meant the child was legally Fili’s even if it was biologically Kili’s.  He’d be the child’s father.

“It will be okay,” Kili crooned to the child.  “It has to be okay.”

“Are you getting dressed?” Fili snapped and Kili looked up to see him standing in the doorway,  his blue eyes dark and heavy bags prominent beneath them.  Three days of sleeping on their lumpy settee had taken their toll on him.

“What for?” Kili asked, his voice cracking.

“We’re required in the Great Hall,” Fili said stiffly.  “Today is...”

“The day of your punishment.” Kili let his eyes drop to the floor, unable to meet his brother’s gaze.  “So you’re going through with it then?”

“I’ve already said I would.  Now get dressed.”

“Why?” Kili swallowed. 

“Because you, as my consort, are required to be there.  You have a part to play in this.  So get dressed.  It won’t do to keep Thorin waiting.”

“And the child?” Kili asked, still not able to meet Fili’s gaze.  “Am I supposed to take him along as well?  Proof of your _infidelity?_ ”

“That’s not necessary,” Fili said, his voice low and full of bitterness.  “There’s not going to be a trial.  No one will need evidence.  I’ll plead guilty and accept my punishment immediately.”

“So what should I do with him?”

“Gloin has found it a wet nurse.”

“A wet nurse?” Kili’s voice was soft.  “I thought you said--”

“I don’t intend to take that thing from you.  I gave you my word and, unlike some people, I keep my word once it’s given.”

“Fee.” He glanced up and saw his brother flinch, his anguish clear on his face.

“The nurse is merely a precaution.  In case you need help, since you’ll have _two_ infants to care for now.  It’s common when a dwarrowdam or a dwarran has twins.  She’ll just be here to help.”

“Right.” Kili nodded.  “To help.”

“Now get dressed.  We’re supposed to meet the nurse and Bilbo in his and Thorin’s apartments.”

“Yes Fili.” Kili lowered his eyes.  “Will you--”

“Put it on the bed.  It’ll be fine long enough for you to get dressed.”

Rather than argue, Kili just nodded and then lay his son down, propping pillows around him so that he couldn’t accidentally roll off the bed.

The baby gurgled at him, waving his tiny fists and kicking at the swaddling around his legs.  “It’s going to be okay.” Kili promised him as he undid the fastenings of the sleep tunic and slipped it from his shoulders.  “He’ll take his punishment and we’ll get through this and it will be okay.  It has to be okay.”

He pulled on fresh underclothes and then jerked on the soft, brown maternity trousers that ended just above the top of his pelvis, directly beneath the curve of his stomach.  “He’ll have to forgive us.  Me.  He’s my One after all.  I’m his. He’ll have to forgive me.”

Kili pulled on the dark blue maternity tunic that always reminded him of Fili’s eyes and began fastening it. 

“Are you dressed?” Fili called out from the sitting room.

“Almost,” Kili answered as he did the last of his buttons and then sat on the side of the bed, pulling on his boots.

“Good, we need to get going.  I, obviously, can’t be late.  Since it’s my public disgrace after all.”

“Right.” Kili lifted the baby and cradled it against his shoulder as the child in his womb shifted, stretching and turning.  “It will be all right little ones.” He put his free hand on his stomach and rubbed it softly.

“We need to leave now.” Fili barked from the sitting room and Kili sighed before standing up.

He will forgive me, Kili thought to himself.  He has to forgive me.

“Fili.” He stepped into the sitting room and stared at his mate.

“Come along.”

“Fili please.”

“What?” Fili turned to glare at him.  “What do you want?  Besides my public humiliation?”

“I’m sorry.” Kili stepped toward him.  “Please.  Please Fili, you have to forgive me for this.  We’re having a child together.  We’re going to be a family.  A proper family.”

“And that’s why I’m going to take a public beating and allow myself to be humiliated for you.  I’m protecting you, you-- the bearer of my heir.  I’m doing this because you’re having my child Kili.  Because I owe you for that.”

 _“Owe?”_ Kili swallowed, pain lancing his heart.  “You owe me this?  Why?  Because of the child?  Is that it?  The only reason you’re doing this is because I’m carrying your baby?  What if I wasn’t?  Would you have allowed Thorin to kill me?”

“Does it matter?” Fili narrowed his eyes at him.

“Of course it matters,” Kili said.  “You’re my One.  I’m your One.  We’re supposed to love each other.”

“Love?  Were you thinking about how much you loved me when you were sleeping with that slut in the east tunnels?  Were you thinking about our Bond?”

“I made a mistake.  I was angry.  Stupid.  I made a mistake!  One mistake.”

“One we’re going to have to live with for the rest of our lives.  One that I’m currently preparing to take your punishment for.” Fili glared at him.  “So quit mewling at me about how I’m not doing this because I love you and come along.  Bilbo and the nurse are waiting for you to take them that thing.”

“He’s not a thing.” Kili winced.  “He’s your son.”

“No.” Fili glared at him.  “He’s _your_ son.  Not mine.  Not ours.  Your’s.”

“But as far as everyone is concerned--”

“You’ll look like a remarkably generous consort with the way you’ve taken to loving the little bastard.  Now come along.”

Kili squeezed the child tighter to his shoulder and tried not to whimper at the anger and bitterness in Fili’s voice.  His brother jerked the door open and motioned him out.  “You’ll never realize how sorry I am,” Kili said quietly.

Instead of answering, Fili stalked out of their room and down the hall to their Uncle’s apartment.  Kili followed behind him quietly, his shoulders hunched and one baby snuffling against his shoulder as the other began to kick low in his stomach.

Fili rapped sharply on the door to their Uncle’s rooms, still silent.  The door creaked open and Kili’s breathe caught as Bilbo peered at both of them.  “Fili. Kili.  Come in.”

“Is my uncle here?” Fili asked sharply.

“No.” Bilbo shook his head.  “He said to tell you that he’ll be waiting in the Great Hall.  You’re to meet Dwalin and Balin outside the main doors and they’ll bring you in for the, well, you know.”

“For my trial,” Fili said sharply and Kili hissed at the pain in his voice.

“Right.Yes.” Bilbo stepped toward Kili with his hands out.  “Can I take him?”

Kili cowered back for a moment, irrationally terrified at the idea of anyone besides him touching the child.  What if Bilbo hurt him?  Or they took him away?  Gave him to someone else to raise?  Smuggled it out of Erebor and hid it from Kili?

“I promise that nothing will happen to him while you’re gone.” Bilbo touched his hand.  “He’ll be right here, perfectly fine when you get back.  Come on now Kili.  You don’t want his first exposure to the outside world to be _this_.”

“All right.” Kili nodded once and then pressed a kiss to the child’s head before handing him to Bilbo and wrapping his hands around his stomach.  “He’s just been fed and winded.  He’s clean.  He’ll probably just want a nap now.  He tends to sleep after he eats.”

“Of course,” Bilbo motioned a small, dark haired dwarrowdam forward and handed her the child.  “Babies do that.  Doesn’t matter what race they are.”

“What’s his name?” the nurse asked, her voice soft as she cradled the child in her arms, rocking slowly back and forth.

“He doesn’t have one.” Fili snapped.  “It’s just a bastard.”

Kili saw Bilbo flinch as his own shoulders curled forward again under his brother’s harsh tone.  “Neali.” Kili said quietly.  “I’ve been calling him Neali.”

“Whatever makes you happy,” Fili muttered and turned back to the door.  “Now come along.  Let’s get this over with.”

“The baby will be fine Your Majesty,” the dwarrowdam said as she reached out to pat Kili’s hand.  “I’ll take care of your Neali.  You just worry about yourself.  And the Crown Prince.”

“Thank you.” Kili nodded and then hurried to follow Fili out of the room.

His brother didn’t slow as he made his way to the Great Hall, his head held high and his shoulders tense.

“Fili.” He hurried after him as fast as he could, tremendously slowed by his own stomach.  “Fili please.  Wait.”

“Why?” His brother turned toward him.  “Why should I wait?  Do you think I want you to have to watch this?  To have you standing there watching as Thorin beats me like a common criminal?  Do you think I want you to have to stand there, letting people stare at you, whispering about how you weren’t enough for me?  Do you think I want to expose you to that sort of scorn?”

“I love you.” Kili stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his brother’s neck.  “I do.  I love you so much Fili.  I made mistakes.  I screwed up.  And I’m so sorry.  But I do love you and I know that there is no way that I can make this up to you but I will spend the rest of my life trying.  I swear.”

“You don’t need to do that,” Fili said as he pulled away from him.  “After this, it’s done and we’ll never speak of it again.  Now come along.”

“Yes Fili.” He stepped back and swallowed, lowering his head.

“Fili.” Dwalin called out as they rounded the last corner to the Great Hall.  “Come along lad.”

“Mister Dwalin.  Master Balin.” Fili’s shoulders tensed and for a moment Kili wondered if he might change his mind.  But he knew better. Fili had determined his course and now he wouldn’t be swayed from it.

“Chin up lad,” Balin said quietly.  “This will done soon enough.”

“Kili?” He glanced over and saw Ori and the rest of the company staring at him.  “Come along lad, we’ll stay with you.”

“I’m--”

“We need to do this now,” Dwalin said, his voice quiet but stern.  “Then you boys can go go back to figuring out what you intend to do.”

“One moment.” Kili stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Fili again.  “I love you.  No matter what happens in there I will always love you.  Just, come back to me.  Please.”

“Let’s just get this over with,” Fili said as he jerked out of Kili’s arms and stepped back between Dwalin and Balin.  “The sooner it’s done the better.”

“That’s the way of it lad.” Dwalin patted him approvingly on the shoulder.

“Come along Kili.” Ori took his arm and began to lead him away.

“He’s right.  Come along my lad,” Bofur took his other arm and the two of them led him toward the stairs for one of the balconies that looked over the rest of the Great Hall but segregated enough that he could be protected by the rest of the company from the pitying stares of others.

Once they reached the balcony he looked down at the dwarves below.  Half of them were staring at the raised platform where Thorin was sitting and the others were staring at him, their eyes full of curiosity and pity.

There was sharp, thudding pound against the twenty foot high doors that led from the Hall to the corridor outside where his brother was waiting and then the dull creak of the doors beginning to open.  Everyone, including Kili, turned to watch as his brother appeared, flanked by Dwalin and Balin, chains binding his wrists together in front of him and a contingent of guards at their back.

His brother was to be the first criminal put to trial in Erebor and it seemed that Thorin intended for it to be done with all the pomp and ceremony the occasion was meant to call for.


	4. Chapter 4

Kili heard the crowd gasp and then the sound of fabric rustling against each other and the scuff of boots on the stone floor as people pushed back, leaving a narrow walkway between Fili and the dais where Thorin sat.

“Fili Durin, son of Dis, heir of His Majesty King Thorin Oakenshield, Crown Prince of Erebor,” a dwarf in dark blue livery called out from in front of the dais.  “You have been called before your king to answer for your crimes.  Come forward.”

The crowd began to murmur to each other and Kili felt someone put their hand in each of his and two more hands appeared on his shoulder.  On his left it was smaller, softer hands and he knew that it was Ori supporting him and on the right the hands were stronger, fleshier and he was almost sure it was Bombur giving his support.

“It’ll be all right lad,” Bofur murmured in his ear.  “This is all a mistake.”

Fili stepped forward, his head held high and his shoulders back as he stalked forward, his eyes never leaving Thorin’s.

The hall fell silent and the crier stepped forward again, unrolling a scroll.  “Fili Durin, Crown Prince of Erebor, you stand accused of breaking your bond and committing adultery against your lawfully joined consort-- Kili Durin, son of Dis.  How do you plead?”

“Guilty.” Fili’s voice rang out.

“You are also charged with siring a bastard upon one with whom you did not have a bond.  How do you plead?”

“I plead guilty.”

Ori’s grip on Kili’s hand tightened and Kili felt his knees weaken as the rest of the dwarves of Erebor began to whisper to themselves, looking up at the balcony where he was flanked by the rest of the members of the Company.

“Is Kili, son of Dis, royal consort to the Crown Prince present?” the crier asked.

Kili swallowed, dots dancing in front of his eyes and stepped forward to the railing.  “I’m--” his voice cracked and he swallowed again, trying to get moisture into his mouth.  He heard the voices down below get louder as they took in the state of his own stomach.  “I am Kili Durin, son of Dis and consort to the Crown Prince Fili.”

“Your bondmate has committed adultery and sired a child on another,” the crier said loudly.  “As the offended party you may choose to dissolve your bond and seek a home with another-- _more faithful_ \-- dwarf.”

“No.” Kili’s voice sounded hoarse to his own ears.  “No I don’t wish to dissolve our bond.  I love Fili and I know that all of this was a mistake.”

He turned to where Thorin was sitting, his eyes carefully fixed on his heir, ignoring Kili completely.  “I wish to keep my bond in place and I ask-- _I beg_ \-- King Thorin to show my husband leniency.”

The crowd fell silent, splitting their attention between Thorin and his two nephews.  “No.” Thorin’s voice was dark and filled with anger.  “There will be no leniency.  There are only two things that we as dwarves value more than treasure.  The first is our family and the second is the honor that we place in our word.  Adultery is an act that forfeits both of these things.  It makes a mockery of both the words that we give each other in promise and the families that we build together.”

He turned back to Fili, his eyes blazing and Kili had to fight to keep from sobbing as tears rolled out of his eyes and dripped down his cheeks.  “Fili, son of Dis, heir to my throne, do you have anything to say in your own defense?”

“No.”

“So be it.  Your punishment is twenty lashes and two nights in the cells.  After that you may return to your quarters, if your consort will be gracious,” Kili heard the sarcasm in Thorin’s tone even if no one else did, “and allow you to return to them.”

“And the child?” Someone cried out from the crowd.

“The child.” Thorin swallowed.  “The child will be kept in the custody of Fili and his consort to be raised with their own, legitimate, issue.  And, because of his gracious acceptance of his mate’s transgressions.”

Kili swallowed as Thorin turned to face him, his eyes filled with silent rage.  “Kili Durin will be exempt forever more from both the hunting and scouting parties to the borders of Erabor-- even in times when he is not with child.”

Kili felt his knees weaken and if it weren’t for the quick actions of Bombur and Bofur to keep him upright he knew he would have collapsed.  He was being trapped.  Locked inside the mountain.  Given what most dwarves would consider a reward that was for him a punishment.  A gilded cage that he would never be able to escape.

“You are most gracious my King,” Fili said quietly.  “Thank you.”

“Step forward and prepare for your punishment,” Thorin replied.

Fili nodded swiftly and then allowed Dwalin to lead him to the tall post set into the floor in front of Thorin’s throne. Kili sucked in a breath as his mate let Dwalin slide his tunic off his chest and fold it neatly, before handing it to Balin.  In return the older dwarf handed him a leather thong that Dwalin used to tie Fili’s long, golden hair up and away from his back, baring it for all to see.

“Hands over your head boy,” Dwalin said gruffly.

Fili complied, bringing his hands together over his head with his arms straight like he was preparing to dive into water below.  Instead Dwalin took a piece of rope from the pole and lashed it around the chains binding Fili’s wrists together, securing him to the pole.

“Begin.” Thorin nodded to Dwalin and Kili sucked in a breathe as the older dwarf stepped back, only a few paces from Fili’s bound form,  and picked up the thick leather strop that was used for public lashings.

Dwalin pulled his arm back and Kili watched as the leather sailed lazily through the air.  Crack!  The noise echoed through the hall and Kili’s stomach began to churn.  “One.” Fili said, his voice steady.

The strap fell again and he watched as it hit pale flesh, striping it a brilliant crimson color.  “Two.”

The lash fell again and he saw Fili jerk.  “Three.”

Dwalin stepped into the next blow, bringing it down hard over Fili’s kidneys and Kili’s back began to ache in sympathy.  “Four.” Fili’s voice was tight but still steady.

The fifth blow sounded like thunder.  “Five.” Fili’s voice was still clear.

“No.” Kili moaned and Bofur pulled him back from the railing, burying Kili’s head into his shoulder. 

“It’ll be okay lad.”

Crack.  “Six.”

“Make them stop please,” Kili whimpered.  “It’s not his fault.”

“Seven.” He winced as Fili’s voice rang out.

“We should take him out,” Oin said softly.  “For the babe’s sake if nothing else.  He shouldn’t be in here watching this.” 

“Eight.” He could hear the tight knot of pain in Fili’s voice.

“No.” Kili fought his way out of Bofur’s grasp and went back to the railing, his eyes fixed on his brother’s now bloody back.  “I’ll stay and see this through.”

“You don’t owe him--” Nori started.

“I owe him everything,” Kili hissed.

He clenched the rail and held firm for another eight strokes, trying his hardest not to be sick.  On the seventeenth he heard Fili’s voice catch and tears began spilling down his cheeks.  By the eighteenth he was openly sobbing.  After the twentieth it took the combined strength of Bombur, Bofur and Bifur to keep him upright.

Dwalin untethered Fili from the pole and Kili watched as his mate stood proudly and turned to face their uncle before bowing low from the waist.  “Thank you for your justice My King.”

“Take him to the cells,” Thorin replied, not bothering to meet either Fili or Kili’s gaze.  “Two nightfalls.  Your consort will be welcome to retrieve you then.”

“Thank you My King.” Fili nodded again and then turned back to Dwalin, letting the older dwarf lead him away, not once bothering to look up at where his broken consort was staring after him.

“Come along Kili.” Ori said quietly.  “Come along and we’ll get you back to your rooms.”

“I need to see Bilbo,” Kili gasped as they led him down the stairs from the balcony and down a back hallway that led toward the royal families private rooms without intersecting the more commonly used public corridors that led to the Great Hall.

“I’m sure we can arrange for him to come to--” Ori started.

“He has Neali.” Kili insisted.  “I need Neali.”

“Neali?  Who’s Neali?” Bofur asked.

“The child,” Kili said quietly.  “Neali is what I’ve named the child.”

“You don’t need to worry about that now,” Dori said soothingly.  “Bilbo can arrange for someone else to watch it for a few days.  No need to take on that responsibility before--”

“I want my child.” Kili said through gritted teeth.  “Go and get my son for me.”

“All right then Kili.” Dori patted him comfortingly.  “We’ll get the child for you.  You let Ori settle you into bed and I’ll retrieve him for you myself.  How does that sound?  I’ll even stay and sit with you tonight.  Watch over things so that you can rest.  How does that sound?”

“We’ll take turns,” Ori piped up.  “All of us.  We’ll stay with you until Fili returns.”

“That’s--” Kili started.

“Least we can do,” Bofur interrupted as he steered him into his rooms and left Dori and Ori to go retrieve the child.  “Can’t take a chance of you suddenly giving birth with no one around to run for the midwife now can we?”

“No?” Kili asked tentatively, as Bofur ushered him toward the bed.

“Out of those clothes and into bed with you.  The morning’s been a strain I’m sure.  I’ll make tea and when Dori’s back we’ll see you and the little one settled.  Go on, into bed.”

“Yes Master Bofur.” Kili let his head drop.  The other dwarf was right.  He should rest.  He should do everything in his power to keep Fili’s child safe.

“Dreadful business this,” he heard Bofur mutter to Bombur through the cracked door as Kili slipped out of his clothes and back into the sleeping tunic he seemed to be wearing more and more frequently these days.  “I can’t imagine what that lad was thinking.  Wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t pled guilty and Gloin had sworn to me he’d seen the child with his own eyes. Fili, breaking his bond, I’d never have believed it.  He must have been out of his mind.”

“Only when he agreed to give his heart to a worthless, faithless wretch like me,” Kili murmured to himself as he slid under the sheets and let his eyes drift close. Dori would be back soon with his son but until then it wouldn’t hurt for him to have just a small rest.

When he woke the room was dark and he wasn’t sure what had happened.  He’d lain down in the morning, intent on just a tiny nap before Dori returned but now... Now it was dark in his chamber and he could hear tiny snores from the crib on his right.  On the left, near the fireplace, he could hear a louder snuffling and narrowed his eyes to see Nori, of all dwarves, asleep in a seat near the grate.

What had woken him?  Had it been Nori’s sleep noises?  Had Neali made a sound?

His back twinged and Kili had to stifle a moan.  Of course it had to be his bladder.

He swung his legs down to the floor and there was another twinge, harder this time.

Leaning heavily to the side, he moved his hand around, searching for the chamber pot that he and Fili kept under the bed.  Where was it?

He felt another twinge, even harder than the last and then it was if something inside him had broken.  There was a faint pop and suddenly his legs were covered in warm, sticky fluid. Kili froze.

“Nori.” He hissed.

The other dwarf snuffled. 

“Nori.” He said, louder this time.  “Nori wake up.”

“Whaa?”

“Nori.” Another twinge hit him and Kili had to clench his teeth to keep from moaning.

“What is it?” Nori asked, sitting upright now. 

“You need to get the midwife and then go to the cells and have Dwalin release Fili.” His stomach clenched, harder this time and Kili cried out in spite of himself.

“But Thorin said his punishment was--”

“My water just broke,” Kili growled.  “Go get the midwife and then retrieve my brother.  His baby is coming.”


	5. Chapter 5

“It’ll pass lad,” Dwalin said quietly as he snaked a small tankard of ale between the cell bars.  “The pain.  It’ll pass.”

“It’s fine.” Fili said, gritting his teeth against the scrape of his tunic across the welts on his back.  “I took more of a beating from those stone giants than I did from you.  You’re growing soft in your old age.”

“Not that,” Dwalin said and then took a sip of his own ale, sitting down across from Fili, his back to the bars on his side and his head resting on the iron behind him.  “What your brother’s done.  The pain from that will pass.”

“My brother has done nothing.”

“Fili.  I’ve known you how long lad?”

“You were my uncle’s closest friend since before my mother herself was born,” Fili muttered.  “Thorin told me once that you were the one who went for Oin and the midwife the night I was born because mother wouldn’t let my father leave her side.  She claimed he was a dirty coward who would run off in the night before she got a chance to kill him for what he’d done to her.”

“That she did.” Dwalin smiled.  “And she’d have tried it too but you were born with that blonde tuft of hair in the middle of your head and she melted right there in the bed, blubbering like an elf and telling him how much she loved him.”

“Well, I’m a rather handsome son,” Fili muttered darkly.

“That you might be, my boy, but what I was trying to say is that I’ve known you your entire life, your brother as well.  I watched you grow and I trained you in the art of war and I fought in battle beside you.  If your Uncle would have died of his wounds I would have knelt at your feet and called you My King.  I know what you are capable of.”

“Dwalin.”

“You’re a good dwarf Fili.  Steady.  Patient.  When you find something you want you go after it with a single minded focus and you cherish it once it’s been made your’s.  You don’t treat the things you’ve fought for cheaply.”

“There’s a child Dwalin.”

“Aye, I’ve seen it.  And for all it’s got your hair the boy is your brother around the eyes.”

“A family resemblance--”

“It is.  The hair as well.  Like I said Fili, I watched you grow and your brother as well.  I know the type of dwarf you are and the type he is.”

“Kili is a--”

“Kili was a good child.  If he’d developed into a dwarf then he’d have made a fine warrior.  A good general to your king.  But he didn’t grow into a dwarf, he bloomed into a dwarran.  And your uncle and your mother were blind to what that meant.  They didn’t want to believe the truth.”

“Mother and Uncle Thorin did what they thought was best for us.”

“They left a fox to guard the henhouse at night.  They couldn’t have done more harm if they’d have laid out a path to him and then they didn’t even bother to explain what could happen.  That there were ways of preventing it.”

“We were still the ones who--”

“You did what nature demanded and then when the predicted outcome happened they punished you for it.  And you, you’re the type of dwarf that bowed your head and toiled harder for your treasure.  You protected what was your’s.  But there was something broken in your brother.  Some part of him lost.”

“It was the winter,” Fili swallowed.  “I did what I could but the weather was harsh and food ran--”

“Even before that horrible winter came,” Dwalin said softly.  “Your Kili had his wings clipped and he didn’t know how to live with that.”

“So this is my fault?” Fili asked.  “You’re saying that what happened then is why he did this to me now?  Why he broke our bond?”

“No.” Dwalin sighed.  “Did I ever tell you about my own mate?”

“You had a mate?”

“Aye lad, back before the Desolation, before we lost the home we’ve now reclaimed, I was a regular dwarf, just like your uncle was, full of piss and ale and always looking for a fight to prove how hard a warrior I would be.  Then I found my Marelle and it was like being hit with my own war hammer right between the eyes.  She was it for me.”

“What happened?” Fili asked quietly.

“Much like your Kili I panicked.  I ran.  I saw a future with my wings clipped, a family man, dwarrows round my knees and I was terrified.  More terrified than I had ever been, before or since.  I could face the goblins in Goblintown again every day for the rest of my life and not be as scared as I was when I realized how far I’d sunk for her.”

“So what did you do?”

“I ran to the east tunnels of course.  Took your uncle along with me and together we drank ten times our combined weight in ale and I did much what your young consort did.  Difference was, I took my plunge into insanity before my Bonding Ceremony took place.  Your Kili most likely would have done the same, given the chance.”

He was right. Fili swallowed.  Fili, like most young dwarves in the cusp of adolescence, had his fair share of bed sport.  When he’d had his first twinges Thorin had taken him into the towns of men to a house that specialized in those things and let him slake his lusts. Kili though...

“What happened then?  Did your One send you away?”

Dwalin laughed his voice rough.  “You think I’d love a cowardly lass?  No, my Marelle stormed into that tavern and bashed me round the head with my own tankard.  Then.” He snorted in mirth at the memory.  “Then she grabbed me and Thorin both by the ear and dragged, literally dragged, the two of us back to the royal halls, your uncle screaming like a loon the whole time for her to unhand him since he was a Prince of Erebor.”

“What happened?” Fili asked, his eyes wide at the idea of Thorin of all people being dragged back to the royal halls like a misbehaving dwarrow.

“Your great-grandfather made me and your father spend the next week mucking out some of the older forges, cleaning them with the tiniest of scrub brushes.  And when that was done he married me and Marelle at his very next Great Hall.”

“What happened then?  To your Marelle?”

“Smaug happened,” Dwalin said, his voice low.  “Like he happened for many that day.”

“I’m sorry.”

“So am I lad,” Dwalin said.  “But your Kili, he just needs to be shown that your bond isn’t a prison.  Like my Marelle showed me that our bond wasn’t confinement, your Kili needs to see that it’s not a cage to keep him locked down tight.  And once he’s realized that then the two of you will come right again.”

“I don’t know...” Fili sighed.  “Right now it’s just all these things in my head.  All these questions and then I see him with that thing and the anger just boils up in me.  And I hate them both so much.  Him and the--”

“Dwalin!” Nori’s scream reverberated through the empty chamber as the thief raced toward them.  “Dwalin open the cell.  Open it now.  You have to release him.”

“The punishment is two nights in the cells and he has to be retrieved by his consort,” Dwalin said.

“His consort is the one who sent me,” Nori huffed as he slid to a stop, sucking in deep breathes.

“It’s late and--” Fili started.

“Kili is in labor.  The midwife and your mother are already with him and Thorin says you’re to come.”

Dwalin pulled the key from his belt and quickly undid the lock.  “Come along lad.  Time to face the fires.”

“I--” Fili stepped back into the cell, his eyes wide.  He wasn’t ready for this.  They were supposed to have two weeks left.  Two weeks before the babe was born.  It was early.  Too early.  He wasn’t ready to be a father yet.  He and Kili hadn’t made peace between them.   He didn’t know what to do or how to act.  _He wasn’t ready._

“Come on lad.” Dwalin grabbed his shoulder and pulled him from the cell, Fili’s heels dragging against the stones.

“But--”

Dwalin pulled him closer.  “You took a beating for the boy,” Dwalin hissed in his ear, low enough that Nori wouldn’t hear.  “Now go be with him while he gives you your heir in return.  Or are you going to let him down now of all times?”

Let him down.  Let him, Fili swallowed.  He’d let Kili down before.  He’d hurt him.  Given him reasons to doubt their bond.  He couldn’t do that again.  He couldn’t let Kili think that he loved him any less.

He stumbled from the cells, letting Dwalin drag him into the main corridors and then up to the wing where the royal apartments were.  Before he could even think about what was happening they were in front of his door and he was being muscled into his own sitting room.

“Fili!” Kili’s voice was hoarse as he screamed from behind the closed bedroom door.  “Oh Mahal, I want Fili! Fili!”

“Sit.” Thorin snapped from his place near the fire and Fili looked up to see the rest of the company in various spots around the room, all of them hunched over nervously.

“But Kili needs me.” He started toward the door before Bofur and Bombur stepped in front of him.

“Not the place for you right now,” Bofur murmured quietly. 

Kili let out a loud, wordless, wail of pain and Fili lunged for the door. Dwalin and the other two dwarves held him back, wrestling him across the room to sit across from Thorin. 

“Birthing rooms are not the place for our kind,” Thorin said sternly.  “You’ll see your consort and the heir he bears you when this is done.”

“And...” He swallowed, thinking about the other child.  The interloper.  The constant reminder of his brother’s dishonor.  “The other one?”

Ori glanced up from his knitting and narrowed his eyes at Fili.  “Neali is with his wet nurse.  She’ll care for him until Kili has recuperated.”

“Right.  Good.” Fili sunk lower in his chair, unable to bear the low hatred in the small dwarran’s eyes.  “Kili would have been worried if someone wasn’t seeing to it.”

Ori swallowed angrily, his throat jerking, and then stood.  “I’ll go in and check on Kili, let him know that you’ve arrived.”

“Thank you,” Fili whispered.  “Ori?”

The dwarran stopped at the bedroom door and turned to him.

“Can you tell him I love him please?”

Ori huffed and then opened the door a crack and slipped through just as another, loud, anguished scream poured out of the room.

“It’s a good sign lad,” Gloin said and stomped over to pat him on the shoulder.

“A good sign?” Fili asked, his voice hushed as another shriek echoed around the room.

“The screaming,” Gloin said.  “Your mother almost brought the Blue Mountains down on us when you and Kili were born.  Screaming means that things are progressing.”

“Progressing?” Fili stared at him.

“Aye lad, progressing.  It’s when they’re quiet that you should be worried.  Quiet birthing rooms are always a bad sign.”

“Well,” Bofur chuckled tightly as another shriek tore through the air.  “Then I think it’s safe to say that wee Kili is bearing the line of Durin a whole brace of healthy heirs.”

Then the noise died.  It didn’t taper, it didn’t wane.  One moment his consort was screaming and the next the room was filled with silence as if everyone’s breath had stopped.

“One more Kili.  One more my darling,” Dis’s voice broke the silence and Fili’s eyes widened.

Fili’s heart froze as he heard his One let out a breathy scream and then Kili’s voice was joined by another, higher one.


	6. Chapter 6

“I--” Fili bolted from his chair and had made it two steps toward the door before Thorin and Dwalin managed to wrestle him back into his seat.

“They’ll come and get you when they’re ready for you,” Thorin muttered.

“But the birthing is over and Kili needs--”

“You’ll want to let them clean him up a bit lad,” Gloin said.  “Both of them.”

“I don’t care how horrible they look, my One and my child are in that room.”

“And you’ll wait until they come to retrieve you to go in and see them,” Thorin grunted as he kept Fili planted against the chair.  “That’s the way it’s done Fili.  That is our way.”

 _Then our way is stupid_ , he wanted to snap but didn’t, knowing that it would do him no good. Thorin would keep him there until they were given the okay and nothing Fili said or did would stop him.

The door creaked open and Fili jerked upwards as Ori slipped out, closing the door behind him.  “Ori?”

“The midwife is checking them over now.  They’ll bring the baby out to you soon so she can work on Kili.”

“Work on--” Fili slumped back against his chair. 

“What’s the matter with him?” Thorin asked sharply.

“A quick delivery on a large child,” Ori said.  “If the midwife wants you to know more she’ll tell you.  If you’ll excuse me My King?”

“Go.” Thorin nodded and Ori slipped back into the room the rest of them were not allowed to enter, closing the door behind him with a quiet snick.

“How much--”

The door creaked again and they all froze, staring as the red haired midwife came lumbering out, cradling a small knot of blankets in her arms.  “Is that--” Fili stood, swallowing, and then took an instinctive step toward her.

“Your daughter Your Majesty.” She didn’t meet Fili’s eyes as she deposited the child into his arms.  “Just over half a stone in weight.”

“A good size,” Gloin murmured.

“My daughter,” Fili sighed as he gazed down at the tiny thing in his arms. Kili’s own brown eyes twinkled back at him and he could see his brother in the way she scrunched her nose.  “My very own.”

The other dwarves crowded around him, all taking turns gazing and cooing over the baby like they were fishwives in the villages of men.  “A beauty isn’t she?” Bofur said.  “You’ll need to double the size of the guard when she comes of age Dwalin, just to keep the boys too busy to chase her.”

“We’ll teach you to wield a sword like your Granny,” Fili crooned as he rocked the baby slowly.  “And Daddy will teach you to stab any of those nasty dwarves who come too close.”

The midwife cleared her throat and they all turned to look at her.  “My Prince?” She glanced toward the door.  “If we could speak?  Outside?”

“Oh.” Fili swallowed.  “Of course.”

“Give her here then.” Bilbo had muscled his way into the middle of the knot of dwarves surrounding Fili and his daughter and took the child from him, cradling her against his chest.  “The rest of these brutes will terrify her before she’s even an hour old if you give her to them.”

“I--” Thorin started.

“Hush.” Bilbo swayed slowly as he crossed closer to the fire.  “I’m holding the baby and she doesn’t need to be frightened by her Great Uncle Thorin’s overly loud barking.”

“My Prince.” The midwife fixed her eyes on him. Fili nodded and followed her out the door and into the hallway.

“Yes?”

“The child appears to be fine, even though she was early,” the midwife said.  “I’ll be back to check on her in the morning but I’ve no fear about whether she’ll thrive.”

“Good.  Thank you.  And Kili?”

“The mother, of this child at least, has managed to survive.” Fili grit his teeth at the hostility in her tone.  “Which we’ll count as a blessing.  But the labor was a hard one.  Harder than a dwarran that young should have endured.  Not even eighty yet.  And this isn’t the first he’s borne.  Such a thing used to be illegal.  Taking a dwarran or a dwarrowdam before they’d reached maturity.”

“Kili and I are--”

“Oh yes, bonded you are.  Bonded to a child with a child of his own now.  Two if you count the one whose mother wasn’t as strong as your beloved.”

“Look, is there anything you can tell me about Kili’s health or did you just bring me out here to berate me?” Fili snapped.

“Your Kili is in a weakened state,” the midwife said sharply.  “He’ll need rest and meat and more rest on top of that.  Time to heal.  A full confinement.  Forty days without you poking between his legs.  Forty days.  Not thirty-nine, not thirty-five, _forty_.”

“Forty days,” Fili agreed.  “Lots of rest and good food and forty days of confinement.  Anything else?”

“It would be too much to ask for you to leave him in peace for another half decade,” the midwife snorted angrily.  “Even if it would be best for him.  Not a Durin. Durin’s think they need a dozen heirs running the halls, all within a a year of each other.  No matter the burden on the mother.  So forty days and plenty of rest and meat and as long as no infection sets in he’ll bear you another before the harvest festivals in the villages of men next year.”

Instead of waiting for him to answer she swept away, leaving him gaping in her wake. 

The door opened and he saw Thorin staring at him.  “Fili?  Is everything all right?”

“Fine Uncle Thorin.  I was just out here feeling the rough side of the midwife’s tongue.”

“That’s...” Thorin’s tired eyes met his.

“Understandable, considering the circumstances,” Fili muttered.

“Come now.” Thorin clapped a hand on his shoulder.  “Your mother says that Kili is asking for you.”

He nodded and let Thorin lead him back inside.  There he found his mother waiting for him, her back stiff and her face blank.  “Mother.”

“Fili.” She nodded at him, her eyes not meeting his, but her body still blocking the door to his and Kili’s rooms.

“It’s good to see you again,” he whispered, hoping that for the first time in eight years she would meet his eyes.

“Kili is asking for you.” She stepped away from the door, her face still directed to the floor.

“Dis.” Thorin’s tone was disapproving.

“You’ll want to be careful with him,” she said.  “He’s still weak.  The last few days have been trying for him.”

“Mother.” Fili stepped forward but she turned her back to him and swept out of the room.

“We’ll be going as well lad,” Bofur said.  “You’ll all need the rest.  Give Kili our best.”

“Thank you.” Fili said as Bilbo passed the baby back to him.

“Would you like me to have the nurse bring Neali back to Kili?” Bilbo asked softly.

“You’ll have to ask him about that,” Fili motioned to the bedroom door.

“Of course.” Bilbo slipped past him and into the bedroom.

“She’ll come round Fili,” Thorin said quietly.  “Your mother will come round.  She’s got grandchildren to dote on after all.”

“She hasn’t come around yet,” Fili said quietly.

“You have to give her time.”

“She’s had eight years.  Eight years where I’ve been unwelcome at her fire.  Eight years since Kili has been able to go home either.  We reclaimed Erebor in hopes that she’d forgive us.  Forgive me.  We agreed to let you formally bond us even though we’d been common pledged since she threw us out into the street.  All of this so that she’d come around.”

“And she will.” Thorin’s face was lined with grief.

“To the children, yes.  To Kili?  Most likely.  But not to me Thorin.  She’ll never come back around to loving me.”

The door opened and they both looked at Bilbo as he nodded at them.  “Kili says he’ll sleep better if he has both children in the same place.  I’ll just go and get Neali now.”

Fili clenched his teeth, irrational anger at his mother making him want to snap that his brother could leave his bastard for one night so that he could care for their daughter.  “Fine.”

“Fili.” Thorin shook him lightly.  “I am exceptionally proud of both of you and I’m proud to claim you as sister-sons.  No matter what mistakes you may have made.  You are my heir and the Crown Prince of Erebor.  And one day, soon, your mother will warm to you again.  You’ll see.”

Fili sighed.  “I should go to Kili now.”

“You should.” Thorin agreed.  “I’ll see you in the morning?  When we make the announcement about the child’s birth?  You’ll bring me her name?”

“Of course.  I’ll come to you as soon as I can.”

“Good lad.” Thorin clapped him on the shoulder again and as soon as he let go Fili turned and made his way into the bedroom, careful not to jostle his daughter.

“Fili?” Kili lay back against a pillow, his cheeks pale and his hair plastered to his face with sweat.

“I’m here,” he said quietly, thinking about the last time they’d been in this position.  The horrible gray color that Kili and the child had both been.  How he’d been sure that he’d lose not just one but both of them that night.

“Did you see her?” Kili held his arms out and Fili smiled at him as he sat down on the bed carefully and slid the baby into his brother’s arms.  “Isn’t she beautiful?”

“She’s got your eyes,” Fili whispered.  “And I see you in her nose.”

“She’s got your lungs,” Kili answered.  “Especially when she’s not getting what she wants.”

In reply the child let out a tiny squawk and Fili couldn’t help the tiny grin he gave his brother.  “Your appetite as well,” Kili said as he unlaced the front of the loose sleep shirt he was wearing and let one arm slip off his shoulder.  “This is the second time I’ve fed her.”

There was a light rap on the door before it opened and Fili saw Bilbo framed in the doorway, a sleeping dwarrow in his arms.  “I’ll just, um...”

“Put him in the bassinet,” Kili said quietly and motioned to the small wicker basket on it’s stand right next to his side of the bed.  “It’s big enough for both of them and I’ll be able to reach them both in the night if they need me.”

Fili felt his teeth grinding together at the thought of the two dwarrows sharing a bassinet but didn’t say anything.  There was no where else that the children could sleep. 

He watched as Bilbo gently lay down the child and gave them a brief nod before scurrying away, leaving them alone with each other in the same room for the first time since Neali had come into their lives.

Too young. Fili thought.  No chance to experience life before he’d had his wings clipped.  Too young.  A child with a child.

“Fili?” Kili’s voice was soft.  “Is everything okay?  Are you angry that the child is a girl?  I promise that the next will be--”

“She’s beautiful,” Fili said softly as he gazed at the child feeding quietly from his One.  “A perfect child.  I could wish for nothing else.  No son would compare to her.”

“So why are you--” Fili saw his brother’s large, dark eyes staring back at him.  Not even eighty.

“Tommorrow, when the midwife comes, I want you to ask her to bring you the herbs you were taking in the Blue Mountains.  I’ll make sure that the next trade caravan brings you how ever much you might need.”

“But...” Kili’s eyes widened.  “I thought you wanted our children to be close together in age.  Like we are.  Like Thorin and Frerin and Mother were.  We’ve always said we’d have a dozen dwarrows all of them one right after another.”

“You need your rest,” Fili said quietly, trying to avoid the hurt and the betrayal in his brother’s eyes.  “Try to sleep.”

“But Fili.”

He stood and pressed a kiss to his brother’s forehead.  “Thank you for my child,” he murmured against his brother’s hair.  “If you need me I’ll be just in the next room, asleep on the settee.”

“But--”

“Get some sleep Kili.” He climbed off the bed and backed away from his brother, his eyes never leaving the dark ones staring back at him.  ‘Try to get some rest.”


	7. Chapter 7

He curled up on his side, trying to find a comfortable position, but Mahal he hurt.  Not that he was surprised by that fact, only an idiot wouldn’t have expected to hurt after what he’d been through.  And no matter what anyone else thought, Kili wasn’t an idiot.

He heard both babies snuffle in their sleep and closed his eyes, trying to hear Fili in the darkness.  Most nights he fell asleep to his brother’s light snoring but now the other side of the bed was silent.  His brother, his One, wasn’t beside him.

He closed his eyes and tried to sleep.  He’d need his sleep where he could get it in the next few weeks until the dwarrows were sleeping through the night.  He was exhausted.  It shouldn’t be this hard to sleep.

He shifted onto his back again and tried to get comfortable, his eyes slipping closed.  _Think happy thoughts_ his mother had always told him.  _Happy thoughts will put you to sleep._

Kili’s mind didn’t quiet though and his heart hurt as he remembered his first blooming.  He tried not to snort at the effeminate name that the dwarven culture had given to the process.  As if what happened to him was as delicate and lovely as the blooming of a flower.

_He’d been seventy and sick of school and ready to  finally  grow up. Fili had turned seventy five the summer before and had been allowed to leave school and now that he was no longer there, school held no interest for Kili.  Yet, early each morning, Kili would dutifully bundle off with Gimli before the sun had completely risen for the short walk to Balin’s school as Fili went in the opposite direction toward the forge where he’d been apprenticed.  School would let out at lunch and he’d meet Fili at home for weapons practice until supper._

_Except that particular day it had been harder to concentrate than usual.  Dates had slipped past and he couldn’t focus on the words that Balin kept repeating.  It was like the older dwarf had started to speak Elvish and no one else had noticed._

_His stomach ached and he was sweaty even though the classroom was cold.  His clothes itched against his skin and all Kili wanted to do was go home and sleep._

_When Balin finally released them Kili had managed to stumble home and managed as far as the door before he slumped to the floor._

_“Kili?” His mother was worried._

_“I don’t feel--” His stomach lurched and he vomited all over his tunic._

_“Oh dear.” She sighed and then managed to get a shoulder underneath his armpit and hoisted him to his feet.  “It’s not ale is it?  You haven’t been sneaking out with your brother to the tavern.”_

_“No mother,” Kili lied.  He had snuck out a few times when Fili had gone to the taverns with the other apprentices but not since the previous Saturday and he was quite sure that it wasn’t possibly to have a hangover on Wednesday for a drinking binge on Saturday night.  Not without suffering on the preceeding days as well._

_“We’ll get you into bed then and I’ll go for the doctor,” Dis muttered and started to help him toward the stairs and his and Fili’s tiny room._

_They’d made it up the stairs and she’d helped him sit on the bed and then he’d felt the wetness.  At first he’d thought he’d sat in something until his mother’s eyes had widened as she saw the darkening patch at the front of his trousers that matched the wetness in the back.  “Oh dear.  I shouldn’t have been surprised but I had hoped...”_

_“What?” Kili had groaned as she reached for his laces and he’d only halfheartedly batted at her hands as she pushed him back and then peeled his trousers and underclothes down his legs with one yank._

_She’d slipped the blankets over him and patted his hair once before leaving him alone.  He’d dozed after she’d left, his body still shaking from cold but the throbbing in his brain finally starting to ease._

_The squeak of the bedroom door had woken him and he saw his mother and Fili standing in the doorway with a small, bespeckled dwarrowdam that Kili remembered was one of Erud Luin’s few midwives standing between them._

_“If you’ll--” She motioned to Fili._

_“But--” Kili had heard Fili mutter.  “That’s my brother you’re going to be poking at.”_

_“Poking?” Kili had mumbled.  “I’m sick I don’t want anyone poking at me.  Tell them to go away Fee.”_

_“Out.” The midwife’s voice had been stern then and he’d heard Fili huff once before the click of the door closing again._

_“Let’s see what we have then,” the midwife said, her tone brusque, as she jerked the blankets off and put her hand on Kili’s knee rolling him onto his back._

_“What are you--” He’d looked from her to his mother with wide eyes, confused about why his mother was pressed to the door, her thumbnail in her mouth and her eyes filled with worry, instead of stopping some strange dwarrowdam from hurting him._

_“Heels to your bum and let your legs fall open,” the midwife said briskly._

_“What?” Kili had yelped as he tried to maneuver away from her._

_Instead of letting him get away from her through she’d managed to get between his legs and jerked them up herself, holding him pinned as one of her hands began to root between his spread legs._

_“Stop it!” He’d tried to pull away and froze as a burning pain lanced through him.  She’d inserted two fingers inside of him and was pressing around as if she was feeling for something._

_“Ah!” She’d glanced up at him and grinned as if they were in on a joke together.  “There it is.  Good placement.  Just where it should be.”_

_“Where what should be?” He’d felt fear clawing at his belly._

_“You were right,” the midwife said over her shoulder to Dis before pulling her hand free of his body and wiping it on his sheets.  “He’s presented as a dwarran.  Everything feels intact.”_

_“Oh Mahal,” Dis had moaned.  “What will Thorin say when he hears?”_

_Dwarran. Dwarran.  The word had circled around in his mind.  He was a dwarran.  He wasn’t male or female he was some weird cross breed.  A male with female parts.  A freak of nature._

_“I’ll bring by the herbs for him.  You’ll want to give him a mug of it every morning from now on.  Drink it on an empty stomach.  Every morning mind.  No days off.  And you’ll want to move him to his own room.”_

_“What?” Dis had jolted at that and Kili had been broken from his thoughts.  Why would he need his own room?  Why did he need herbs?  What was this dwarrowdam trying to do to him?_

_“You can’t keep him with--” the midwife had stopped.  “If he forgets the herbs even once--”_

_“No herbs,” his mother had snapped.  “There will be no herb teas.”_

_“But--”_

_“And he won’t be moving rooms.  There’s no other place for him to sleep.”_

_“He’ll be--”_

_“Nothing will happen.  They are the princes of Erabor and neither of them would disgrace themselves or our family that way.  And there will be no herbs.  No mention of such disgusting things in this house.  I’ll not have it spread about that Kili is somehow open for business and willing to spread his legs for any dwarf that comes calling.”_

_“Mother--” Kili had flopped back on the bed, still hurting, and more than a little confused._

_“Get out,” Dis had hissed and for a moment Kili wasn’t sure who she was talking to.  Him or the midwife.  “Get out of this house and don’t let me ever see you again.”_

_“As you wish Your Majesty,” the midwife had snapped.  “I’m sure I’ll be back soon enough.”_

_“Fili.” Dis had called out.  “Come and watch your brother.  I need to see your Uncle Thorin.”_

*****

Fili shifted uncomfortably on the settee, trying to find a way to lay down where he could actually fit.  But the damn thing was too small unless he curled up in a ball and there was a spring in the back that poked him in the kidneys and his back still stung from the lashing this morning and his Kili was just beyond the door and he couldn’t bring himself to go to him.  He couldn’t be the one who broke first.  Not this time.

He closed his eyes and drifted off into an exhausted daze.  Too young.  Too young.  Dangerous.  The midwife’s words chased each other in his mind.

_He’d tried Mahal help him.  He’d tried so hard to be a good brother to Kili.  He’d pleaded with his mother and Thorin to get Kili the herbs he needed.  Not that he’d ever expected to be the one his brother needed to guard against.  He’d tried the basic argument of better safe than sorry and what if Kili ends up alone somewhere, unable to protect himself, and the worst happens._

_His brother was a dwarran and that made him exotic.  A precious jewel for any dwarf to take.  A young, untouched prince was rare enough but one that could bear children?  Dwarves had gone to war for less in the past._

_“I’ll not take the chance of word getting out,” Thorin had snapped.  “We’ll make a political match for him with one of Dain’s heirs but if there’s any hint of impropriety we’ll pay more for Dain to take him then we’d ever get in return.”_

_“And if he’s raped?” Fili had asked.  “With the herbs we could hide it from Dain.  Or pay him enough to keep his mouth shut.  But if Kili is carrying some rapist’s bastard there will be no deal to make.  No dowry would cover it.”_

_“That’s your responsibility then,” Thorin said.  “You’re the oldest.  Protecting your brother is your duty.  We won’t risk the scandal of someone finding out he’s on contraceptives so if you want your brother to remain safe, then I suggest you remain diligent.”_

_He’d managed for six months.  Six months of watching as his brother grew taller, more willowy.  His hips rounded and his waist seemed so much smaller.  Those tip tilted eyes his brother had now seemed like they  held secrets instead of mischief and it was all Fili could do to protect him.  He’d walk Kili and Gimli to school, then he’d hurry back to retrieve them at lunch.  He never let Kili go to the practice yards alone and never let him hunt unaccompanied.  The few times he managed to sneak his brother out to the tavern with him, he kept the younger close to his side.  At night, he lay in bed, watching as his brother drifted off into an innocent sleep and then wanked until he was sobbing out his brother’s name in his pillows._

_For six months he’d managed to always find some reason to stay up late and then nod off in the sitting room when Kili’s blooming would come.  He’d leave his brother locked in their room and their mother in the kitchen and find somewhere to hide.  Somewhere he couldn’t think about the fact that his beautiful younger brother was lying in their room, all alone, desperate for touch._

_Then he injured his ankle at sword practice with Dwalin.  The ankle swelled and the crutches made it almost impossible to navigate the stairs.  He couldn’t stand on it, much less walk, so he couldn’t go to the forge.  Or the pub.  He was trapped in his room, with Kili-- whose body decided that this was the perfect time to make it’s presence known._

_He’d listened as Kili let out a pained whimper.  “Kee?”_

_“Hmmm.” His brother tried to sound like usual even though Fili could hear him shifting on the blankets, squirming, wiggling._

_“Are you okay?”_

_“Fine.” Kili had been breathless.  “I’m fine Fee.  Just itchy.”_

_“Itchy?”_

_“It’s normal,” Kili sighed.  “When this happens my clothes feel itchy.”_

_“What do you usually do then?  The nights that I’m not here?” Fili kept his eyes focused on the ceiling._

_“I...um...”_

_“What Kili?”_

_“I take them off.”_

_“Do it then,” Fili muttered.  “I won’t mind.  I’ve seen you in nothing but your skin before.”_

_He heard his brother shifting again and clothes softly hitting the floor but he tried to keep his eyes focused above him.  He wasn’t going to shame his brother by ogling at him._

_“Fee?”_

_“What is it Kee?”_

_“Will you hold me?”_

_“I don’t think that’s--”_

_Before he could finish Kili had curled up, trustingly, next to him, his head on Fili’s chest and one leg insinuated between Fili’s.  “If you keep your clothes on it will be okay.  I just need...”_

_“What?”_

_“Touch.” Kili had whispered.  “I need to be touched.”_

_“How?” Fili let one hand trail down Kili’s spine and tried not to react as his brother arched into his fingers._

_“I don’t know,” Kili gasped.  “Just touch.”_

_Within minutes they were both on their sides and Fili had given up his study of the ceiling to watch the changes his brother’s face made as Fili ran his hands along Kili’s body.  “Does that--” He flicked  a finger over Kili’s left nipple._

_“More,” Kili had moaned against his shoulder._

_Fili put rules in place for himself then.  He could touch but only when Kili was in bloom and only if the other asked him to first.  He could touch, he could bring his brother to completion with his hand, but nothing else.  They could go no further.  Fili’s clothes had to stay on and Kili had to keep his hands to himself.  And above all, there would be no kissing._

_One by one his rules fell.  The first, of course, was the no kissing rule. Kili loved kissing and quite often pressing his mouth against his brother’s was the only way that Fili could keep him quiet enough to keep from getting caught._

_Next was the ‘only when Kili was in bloom’ rule.  After all, his brother had so few things left to enjoy in his life.  And it wasn’t like they were going to do his brother any harm.  Nobody got pregnant from a wank.  And it couldn’t go any further because Fili’s clothes were on._

_Then, Kili insisted, it was only fair that he returned the favor.  Especially with how good it felt. Fili complied, because it felt amazing.  But he insisted that his clothes stayed on even if his trousers were unlaced so Kili could touch._

_The next week Kili came to him with something he’d heard from one of the other boys at school. Naran.  A young man that Fili didn’t trust.  He’d been trying to court Kili even though his baby brother had shown no interest.  Then he’d offered to give Kili pleasure with his mouth.  And while Kili had turned him down rudely, he’d come home and demanded that he and Fili start experimenting as soon as they had the chance._

_Then, the week before Fili’s birthday, Dis announced that she was going away with Thorin to trade in the towns of men the day after his birthday feast.  A week without supervision.  A week alone with Kili.  He knew he was sunk before he’d even looked in Kili’s eyes and saw the excitement there._

_Dis and Thorin hadn’t gotten out of town before Fili had found himself with a lap full of naked Kili.  He’d tried to be a good protector.  A loyal big brother.  He’d tried to protest that what they were doing was wrong but Kili had been sweet on his lips and soft in his arms and before nightfall he’d had his baby brother in a dozen different positions._

_Neither of them went to school or work or anything else that week.  They barely ate.  They barely slept.  They spent seven days wrapped up in each other, promising themselves that no matter what came there would never be anyone or anything that could come between them._

_The next month Kili’s blooming didn’t come._

_Six weeks after that Dis caught a glimpse of Kili’s gently rounded stomach and they’d both found themselves in the street._

_Balin turned Kili away from the school.  It wouldn’t be seemly for a pregnant dwarran in classes._

_The brothers Din--Sandin and Kandin-- had kept Fili on as an apprentice and allowed him and Kili to take the room upstairs from the forge. Kili tried to apprentice himself at Bombur’s bakery but the heat of the kitchens made him ill and Bofur had accepted him as apprentice toymaker instead.  A good career for a mother, they’d all agreed.  Sitting down work and no one would care if he brought the babe with him in a basket once it was born._

_They’d been young, poor, and cast out in disgrace but Fili had never been happier than those few months they had together.  Then the winter came._

“Fili.”

He sat up and rubbed his eyes.  His brother was standing in the doorway, his sleep shirt slipping down.  “Are you awake?”

“What is it Kili?”

“Won’t you come to bed?”

“Kili the midwife says that you need your rest.”

“Then we’ll just sleep,” Kili whispered.  “Just please come to bed.  I can’t sleep without you beside me.  Please.”

Instead of answering, Fili just nodded and pushed himself out of his seat.  Things were far from settled for them but at least he hadn’t been the one to break first.


	8. Chapter 8

Fili followed his brother’s slim shadow into the bedroom and then stood in the doorway, staring at him. Kili turned back to him and bit his lip.  “Aren’t you?”

Fili saw blood stains flecked on the hem of his One’s nightshirt and Kili’s hair still lay in dirty hanks around his head.

‘Didn’t the midwife or mother clean you up before they came to give me the rough sides of their tongues?” Fili asked, his voice harsher than he’d meant.

Kili’s shoulders slumped.  “They left a bucket for me and some soap but I was tired and the baby--”

“You’d just given birth,” Fili muttered.  “The least they could have done is washed you off.”

“The midwife said it was mother’s duty and mother...” Kili wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“Was mother.” Fili clenched his teeth.  “It’s no wonder you can’t sleep then.  You never did like sleeping rough when you could be clean.”

“I’m sorry.” Kili kept his eyes fixed on the floor.

“For wanting to be clean?” Fili snapped and saw his brother’s shoulders curl in on themselves.  He sighed and tried to keep his calm.  “Don’t be ridiculous Kili.  No one can blame you for wanting to be clean.  If I’d known you weren’t I would have helped you bathe before I went to bed.”

“I didn’t want to be--”

“Can you make it back to the settee?”

“What?”

“Or do I need to carry you?  It’s just, if I have to carry you first then I’ll need to make a few more trips.”

“No.” Kili stared at him, his eyes wide.  “I can walk.”

“Good.” Fili turned back to the cupboard where they kept their towels and retrieved a stack of them.  Next he found Kili’s other clean sleepshirt.  He took them into the sitting room and draped them over the settee and the floor.  He left three out and set them on the hearth so they would warm.

“What are you...”He turned to see Kili staring at him from the doorway.

“It’s warmer here,” Fili said.  “And it won’t wake the...”

“The children,” Kili said.  “Neali and Das.”

“Das?” Fili asked.

“I thought it might be nice,” Kili whispered.  “If we named the child in the same way as mother.  I thought it might please her.”

“I’m sure it will.” Fili nodded, his eyes on the fire.  “I’m sure it will please her very much.  Now, come and take your shirt off.  Lay on the settee.  I’ll get the water and warm it over the fire so that you can have a bath.”

“I can’t--” Kili swallowed.  “That is to say that the midwife said I’m not allowed a proper bath until the confinement is over.  It could cause an infection.  I have to--”

“I remember,” Fili said.  “You have to bathe with a rag and a bucket.  I’ll help you.  Just like I did before.”

Instead of waiting for his brother to answer Fili slipped back into their bedroom and grabbed the bucket.  He took it back into their sitting room and emptied it into the copper kettle they kept there to warm water.  Once that was done he started for the door with two buckets this time, intent on going to the nearest spring-- a few corridors away-- to retrieve more water for Kili’s bath.

“Fili.” Kili’s voice was soft and he stopped at the door, not turning to face his brother.

“I’ll be back.  Just a moment Kili and I’ll have enough water for you a decent wash.  We’ll even get your hair.”

“Do you ever think about him?  Do you miss him?”

Fili felt tears building in the back of his eyes.  He should have expected Kili to be upset.  For memories to come back to him of things that had passed but the past few days had been so traumatic that he’d pushed the more painful memories out of his mind.  “Every day.  I miss him every single day Kili.  Now get undressed while I go for water.”

He hurried from the room and down to the spring.  Not letting his emotions overwhelm him while he was in the hallways and risked meeting another dwarf.  Once he’d reached the spring though with it’s loud bubbling echoing about the chamber he let out a low roar of grief before his knees gave way.  Eight years and the wound was still as raw as it had always been.  Worse perhaps tonight because this child had lived.  These children were alive and the other was not.  He tried not to think of the tiny grave in Erud Luin that they might never see again.  A grave that would go untended now that Kili wasn’t there to take it flowers and go to sing songs to the stone.

Enough.  He couldn’t be weak in front of Kili. Kili needed him to be strong.  He needed to care for his mate now.

He stood and brushed a hand over his eyes.  When that didn’t seem to be enough he splashed water on it as well, clearing away the tears, before he filled his buckets and began the slow trek back to their rooms.

  A half hour later the water was heated and he had his brother’s head tipped over the side of the towel draped settee as he poured warm water over his hair and into an empty bucket below.

“Mmmm,” Kili sighed as Fili began to work shampoo into his hair.  “Thank you for this.”

“Thank you for my child,” Fili said.  “I should say children.  Need to stay in practice for what’s expected in public.”

“Fili?”

He scrubbed at the places clumped with sweat and smoothed the tangles with his fingers as best he could.  “Hmm?”

“I’m so sorry.  For what I did.  Can you forgive me, please?”

“I’m trying to,” he answered quietly.  “But it’s hard.  I need time yet.”

“And Neali,” Kili said as Fili filled the basin with more clean, warm water and poured it over Kili’s hair to rinse it, his fingers clenched tight to the sides.  “This isn’t his fault Fili.  He didn’t ask for this mess.”

“I know he didn’t.” Fili sighed.  “And I don’t blame him for it.”

“So you’ll treat him as your own?” Kili asked quietly.  “You’ll love him as well as you can?”

“He’s your child Kili,” Fili said as he poured another basin of water over Kili’s hair, getting the last of the soap residue from it.

“But we’re raising him--”

“I can’t not love him,” Fili interrupted.  “He’s a part of you and I love all your parts.  Even the ones that are less than pleasing. Neali is another thing that will take time but I am trying.”

“That’s all I can ask.” Kili said.

Fili filled the basin again and then moved to Kili’s feet.  He lathered clean, lemony soap into the rag and then began to rub circles along Kili’s feet, working his way upwards.  “Open your legs for me,” Fili said quietly.

“Fili...” Kili stared back at him with wide eyes and he was surprised to see his brother’s cock twitch.

“Just to clean you Kili,” he murmured, placing a comforting hand on his brother’s calf.  “I don’t want to hurt you.  Just to make sure that everything is clean.”

“That’s...” Kili swallowed.  “It’s all a bit of a mess down there right now.  It might not be something you want to see.”

“I imagine it is a bit swollen and sore,” Fili said gently as he moved the rag up to Kili’s thighs urging them apart as he massaged Kili’s skin.  “You just birthed a half stone dwarrow.  I’ll be gentle though.”

Kili closed his eyes, as if he was ashamed and then let his head drop back, before opening his legs.

Fili didn’t let his eyes linger.  He was gentle but efficient, scrubbing away the blood and cleaning the flesh, not staying in one spot longer than necessary for the sake of Kili’s modesty rather than his own-- completely absent but apparently expected-- disgust.

When he was finished, he ran the rag over Kili’s testicles and his mate’s cock twitched again, sluggishly filling with blood until Kili was half hard.

“There’s nothing to fear Kili,” he murmured as he lifted his brother’s cock and bathed around it.  “I’m just giving you a bath.”

“The other dwarrans,” Kili whimpered as Fili let the rag trail over the head of his cock again to clean the soap away.

“What Kili?”

“The other dwarrans that have birthed children told me that bed sports after a birthing is usually quite intense.  Pleasurable.  More so than usual.”

“The midwife said forty days Kili.  Forty days before we’re even supposed to share a bed.  For your own health.”

“She only.” Kili squirmed as Fili urged him onto his side, facing the back of the settee so that Fili could clean his back and his shoulders.  “She only prohibited love making Fee.  We can still...” He gasped as the wash cloth dipped along and around the his left hip.  “Still bring each other pleasure. Nasur told me that it can bring parents closer together.”

“Nasur is thirty years older than you.” Fili kept washing upwards, scrubbing the sweat away from the back of his mate’s neck. .  “And at least two stone heavier.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Kili let his head drop back on Fili’s shoulder, his eyes closed.

“You’re...” Fili swallowed.  Too young.  He wanted to say.  But how could he tell his brother such a thing?  How now, after nine years together, could he tell his brother that his guilt for what lay between them was too much?

“I’m?”

“Still in a delicate state,” Fili muttered.  “I don’t want to hurt you.  I don’t want you to do something you don’t want to do.”

“Fili, azyungal.” Kili rolled slowly from his side to his back and then to face his mate.  He wrapped his fingers around Fili’s and let both of their hands trail down his chest, toward his waist.

“Forty days,” Fili muttered as he pulled away.  “I won’t risk your health.”

He stood up and handed his brother a towel.  “Your sleepshirt is next to the fire.  It should be warm.  I’ll change the bedsheets and then you should be able to sleep.”

“Won’t you come with me?” Kili asked quietly.  “Sleep beside me?”

Fili let his head drop forward.  He couldn’t deny his mate.  Kili didn’t like to sleep alone, he never had.  He wouldn’t-- couldn’t-- leave him alone at a time like this.  Not when his brother might still be vulnerable to nightmares.  He’d need to watch him for the first signs of the madness that had almost stolen him from Fili the last time.

“Get dressed and let me change the bed.”

He made his way into their bedroom quietly, trying his best not to wake the dwarrows.  He heard one of them snuffle and the other began to make cooing noises. Kili would need to feed and change them before they finally got the chance to sleep.

Fili pulled the sheets from the bed and began tucking the new ones around it.  When he reached the side closest to the bassinet he peered down at the children curled around each other inside it. Das had a tiny fist in front of her mouth and her eyes screwed shut tightly like Kili had always done as a child when he didn’t want to admit that it was time to wake up. Neali meanwhile had both eyes open, staring at him but not making a noise, studying him.  He heard a faint sucking noise as the child puckered his lips and began to blow tiny raspberries.

“He’ll be here in just a moment,” Fili said quietly, then swallowed as he stared down at the child.  “Your mother will feed you.”

He felt his heart melt slightly as the child simply stared, his own blue eyes looking back at him.  His hand moved against his will, coming out to stroke the small child’s cheek.

“Fili?” He heard Kili behind him and it all came back.  The hurt.  The anger.  The shame of it.  His back ached from the lashing he’d taken that morning.  Clipped wings and the gnawing of hunger and the way Kili’s big eyes had looked at him that terrible winter.  Not yet eighty.  Used to be illegal to do such a thing.  Illegal, immoral, _wrong_.  He’d been too young to make such a choice.  Too young to form a bond.  Too young to understand.  And now the child Fili was touching wasn’t his.

“Your son is awake.  Your daughter is waking.  I think they’ll both need fed and changed.” He backed away from the bassinet and finished making the bed.  “Everything is clean so you should be comfortable.”

“Aren’t you going to stay with me?” Kili asked, his voice broken.

Fili made his way to the cupboard where they kept their clothes and retrieved his two spare outfits and shoved them in a small washbag.  He didn’t meet his brother’s eyes as he continued to pack his essentials.

“Fili?” Kili’s voice was filled with fear.  “What are you--”

“I’m sorry.” He turned and wrapped a hand around his brother’s neck, dipping his head enough so that he could kiss his mate’s forehead.  “I can’t.” 


	9. Chapter 9

Twenty days. Kili thought to himself as he paced the floor of his apartment, bouncing a wailing Neali as Das whimpered in the bassinet.  “Hush my love,” he crooned as he continued to bounce the fussy child.  “You’re upsetting your sister.  Please hush.”

He thumbed his tunic open and tried to press the child to his swollen, aching breast. Neali wouldn’t have it though, wouldn’t feed.  He was hot, sweating, and Kili was just as miserable as his son.

He brought the child back to his shoulder and tried to wind him. Neali screamed louder.

He made his way to the bed and laid the child down, taking his sister out of the bassinet and laying her beside him, hoping that the feel of the other child next to him would soothe the infant.

Das whimpered, snuffling a bit, and then settled. Neali let out a few more, half hearted cries and then settled beside her. Kili watched as his daughter flailed her tiny fist toward her brother and soon Neali was sucking at her fingers, drooling around them and blowing bubbles as she cooed.

“Separate rooms for the two of you,” Kili muttered to himself.  “As soon as you’re out of the nursery it’s separate rooms.  Otherwise your Adad and I will be grandparents before we reach the century and a half mark.

He curled up at the foot of the bed and watched his infants.  “We’ll make sure things are different for you.” He swallowed and tried not to think about the dwarrow toddler that should be here pestering him, demanding to hold the babies.  He tried not to think about the dwarf that had left him alone for twenty days instead of staying by his side.

There was a brief knock at the door that Kili knew had to be Bilbo.  He made sure the pillows surrounding his children were secure and then went to open the door.  “Have you seen him?”

Bilbo didn’t meet his eyes as he sidled into the room, a heavy tray in his hands.  “I’ve brought you some lunch and then I thought you could have a nap while I watched the children.  Your uncle has a busy day planned and I’m a bit at a loss with what to do with myself.”

“Bilbo?  Where is he?  Where is my mate?”

“Meeting with your Uncle.”

“Where?”

“Our apartments.”

Kili went to push past him and Bilbo stepped in front of him, the tray still between them.  “Kili. Kili.”

“No.” He tried to step around Bilbo.  “I need to see Fili.”

“He’s petitioned Thorin to dissolve your bond.”

Kili froze.  “What?  He what?  He can’t.  He pled guilty and when they asked if I wanted the bond dissolved I said no.  He can’t just dissolve it.  We have children together.”

“He’s claiming diminished mental capacity,” Bilbo said.

“What?” Neali and Das both began to wail but Kili couldn’t focus on them.  “My brother is claiming that he only bonded with me because he’s insane?”

“No.” Bilbo sat the tray down on the small table in front of the settee and then came back to put his hands on Kili’s shoulders.  “He’s not claiming that he’s insane.”

“Me?” Kili stepped back from him.  “My brother is claiming that I’m--”

“That you were coerced.  Manipulated.  That when you were common law bonded to each other in Erud Luin that you were too young to understand the implications of it.  That as a minor you weren’t capable of giving consent and that you didn’t have the permission of your guardians.”

“Because they put us out!” Kili snapped.  “Mother and Thorin disinherited us and put us on the street.”

“Disin--”

“Thorin reestablished Fili as his heir when we joined him on the quest.  He held that out in front of my brother like a carrot before a horse on a lead.  Come fight and risk your life for me and in return I’ll let you have your names back.  I’ll provide for your children as royals, better than you could give them scrabbling here in the Blue Mountains like peasants.”

“Either way,” Bilbo said.  “He’s asking Thorin to dissolve your bond because of your age.”

“But what about--”

“He’s asked Thorin to recognize Neali as his heir and Fili intends to return to the Blue Mountains.”

“No.” Kili glared at the hobbit.  “No.  He’s not going to do this.”

“Kili.” Bilbo reached for him again.

“Don’t I get a say?  Don’t I get a say in whether or not he leaves me?” Kili knocked the hobbits hands away from him.  “I won’t let him do this.  I won’t.  I’m going to have my say.”

“Your uncle is going to come and see--”

“No.” Kili stepped around him.

“You’re not supposed to leave your rooms Kili,” Bilbo said.  “You’re still in confinement.”

“What will it matter if I pick up an infection or not?  If Fili leaves I’ll die anyway.”

He didn’t care that he was barefoot, only wearing a tunic and loose, stained trousers.  His hair wasn’t combed and he was pretty sure that there was spit up on his shoulder but he didn’t have time to change. Fili was only a few doors away and Kili couldn’t let him go without taking a chance.

He reached Thorin’s door and didn’t bother to knock.  Now was not the time for courtesy.

He pushed the door open and watched as both dwarves heads shot up. Kili saw the guilt flicker in Thorin’s eyes and had to fight the urge to claw his fingers into the older man’s face.  If anyone had manipulated them from the start it had been Thorin, playing on Fili’s sense of duty, of responsibility.

“You should be resting,” Fili said, not meeting his eyes.

“Why?  So that I can make it easier for you to run away in the night like a coward?”

“I’m trying to do what’s--”

“Kili,” Thorin started.

“Leave us.”

“Excuse me?” Thorin looked up at him in confusion.

“I said leave us.”

“I am your king--”

“And I am the consort to your current heir and the mother of  your future one.  Leave us.”

“That doesn’t--”

“Have you ever studied the kingdoms of men Uncle?” He glared at the older man.  “Fili used to leave his books sitting around while he was in the forge and I read a lot of them.  Cobbled together my education on my own once you had me banished from school.”

“Kili--” Fili swallowed.  “You need to go.”

Instead of listening to his brother Kili made his way around the table so that he was staring down at his uncle.  “You seem to have forgotten how easily a kingdom can be brought down by secrets uncle.  The right secrets in the right ear mixed with the slightest bit of temptation and any king can be swept away.”

“You--”

“And I know all your secrets uncle.  All of them.  Even more than Fili and mother.  Besides, I’m a fertile dwarran, the mother of the future king of Erebor.  The very definition of temptation.”

“There’s nothing you can do to me,” Thorin said, but Kili could see the fear in his eyes.

“How long do you think?” Kili crooned as he stepped closer.  “How long do you think it would take for me to overthrow you?  For me to find someone willing to raise an army against you?  Now leave us before I take my chances.”

Instead of answering, Thorin pushed back from his chair, his eyes still fixed on Kili’s before he bowed and stepped out of the room.

“Kili.” Fili was staring at him.

“No.” Kili looked down at the paper that Thorin had been writing on.  Decree of Divorce.  He picked it up and scanned it.  A dissolution of the bond between him and Fili.  Mental capacity due to age.  His brother’s confession attached attesting to the fact that he’d manipulated Kili into his bed.  That he’d essentially raped him.

Kili tore the paper in half down the center and then turned both pieces so that he could rip them in half again.  He kept tearing until the pieces were smaller and smaller, littering the desk in a small pile.  “No.”

“Kili.”

“NO!” He swept the pile into his hands and dropped them into Thorin’s fireplace, watching as the flames consumed them.

“What we did was a mistake.  You weren’t old enough and--”

“I was old enough to know that I wanted you.  Old enough to know that I belonged to you and not to Thorin.”

“Thorin?”

“Why make a match with one of Dain’s kin when he could have kept me for himself?”

“He didn’t--”

“He never said as much plainly but Mother talked of it enough.  When Erebor is ours again, she would tell me, you’re uncle will make you his consort and you’ll be the mother of kings.”

“No.” Fili swallowed.

“She tried again after she found out.  Claimed that Thorin would still have me.  He’d have claimed it as--”

“NO.” Fili’s eyes were wide.  “They wouldn’t have--”

“They would.  If it meant keeping the name protected.  Preventing scandal.  But I chose you!”

Kili made his way to his brother’s side and climbed into Fili’s lap.  “I chose us.  Because you are my One.  You Fili and I knew it long before my body did.  I chose you because you are the one I love.”

“You loved me so much you had a child with someone else!”

“Is that what this is about?” Kili reared back and put a hand on either side of Fili’s cheeks.  “All of this, it’s because of one night?”

“No.” Fili dropped his head forward.  “Yes.  I don’t know!  The others say that what we have is wrong.  That you’re too young to be a mother.  That I’m hurting you.”

“You’ve never hurt me,” Kili pressed a kiss to his brother’s hair.  “Never before now that is.  I love you Fili.  I’ve loved you since I was six years old and you saved me from that dog in the city of men.  You are all I’ve ever wanted.  I’ll be eighty years old in less than a month, of age,  and I have never loved another dwarf besides you.”

“Then why--”

“I...” Kili swallowed.  “I was curious.”

“Curious?”

“The others,” Kili tried to keep from trembling.  “Sometimes they taunt us. Naras and Melcian and I.  Ori as well.  When there aren’t dwarves around to protect us.  They call us weak. Dwarrowdams.  They claim we will never be proper dwarves because we don’t know the pleasure of sinking into other flesh.”

“This is because some--”

“They said that was why I was a bowman.  That I wasn’t a proper dwarf.  An elven freak.  A coward that hid behind the walls as you and Thorin fought for Erebor against the orcs because I was too squeamish, too womanly, to face sinking my blades into the flesh of another.”

“How would they know what you did?” Fili whispered brokenly.  “They weren’t there.  Instead of fighting, they were pissing themselves with fear in the Blue Mountains, waiting while you and I conquered them a kingdom again.”

“I just--”

“And?” Fili asked.  “Sinking into the flesh of another, did it make you more of a dwarf?  Did breaking our bond somehow make you better?”

“No.” Kili shook his head.  “It just made me miss you more.  Please forgive me.  Please don’t leave me here alone.”

“You should have came to me,” Fili pressed a kiss against his brother’s nose.  “We could have satisfied your curiosity.”

“But--” Kili looked at him wide eyed.

“Or did Naras and Melcian not tell you of those things when they were raving about the pleasures to be found during your confinement?”

“I--” Kili gaped at him.  “They did but I thought they were joking at my expense.  Why would you-- Why would any dwarf male--”

“What do you think happens between Uncle Thorin and Bilbo at night?” Fili asked.  “It’s not always the hobbit that’s limping the next morning.”

“Come on.” Fili stood, lifting his brother into his arms.  “You look tired.”

“Exhausted,” Kili agreed and burrowed his head against his brother’s neck.

“Let’s get you back to our rooms.  I’m sure our children are missing you and I’d like a bath.  Then I think we should all try to sleep.”

“You’re...”

“You broke your confinement, threatened to overthrow our uncle the king, and then burnt our bill of divorce.  I don’t see where I have much of a choice.  If I tried to leave you’d sink the kingdom into civil war within the week.”

“Once the spring comes,” Kili said as Fili carried him back to their rooms.  “I’d like to go home again.  I’ve lost my taste for royal life.”

“But Kili--”

“Bofur is going back in the spring.  He and I could reopen the shop.  You could reopen the forge.  Back to our rooms.  Back to our lives.”

“Well talk about it in the spring,” Fili said as he pushed the door to their room open.


	10. Chapter 10

He let Fili lead him back to his room and he couldn’t help but yawn since he was finally close to Fili and he realized just how exhausted he’d been.  He’d barely slept with his love gone.

“Are you ever going to forgive me?” Kili asked.  “Like properly forgive me?”

“Yes.” Fili sighed as he pushed the door of their rooms open and Kili flinched as he heard both babies screaming.

“Kili you--” Bilbo froze as he stared at them, Das in his arms.  “Fili.  You’ve come back.”

“Where is Neali?” Fili asked as he stepped away from Kili.

“The bedroom,” Bilbo said.  “I couldn’t manage them both so I’m pacing her while he cries it out in the bassinet.”

“Right.” Fili brushed past him and went into the bedroom and Bilbo turned to Kili with wide eyes.

“What’s--” Bilbo whispered.

“Shhhh,” Fili crooned and Kili and Bilbo both turned to watch as he lifted the smaller dwarf lad into his arms.  “Shhhh.  Hush now my son.  Hush.  You’re making your sister cry.”

“He’s...” Bilbo mouthed.

Kili shrugged and Bilbo handed him Das who he perched on his shoulder and began to quickly hush, still watching Fili cradling the now cooing child in his arms.  “Shhh baby.”

Bilbo slipped out of the room and closed the door quietly behind him, leaving Kili and Fili alone together for the first time in twenty days. Kili continued to bounce Das and soon she’d quieted and began to snuffle a bit at his neck.  He felt her mouthing at his neck and shifted her so that she was near his breast and undid the clasps so that she could feed.

She latched onto him and he hissed at the sharp lance of pain from the baby’s lips against his sore body and the pull of her mouth as it demanded sustenance.  “It’s okay Das.”

“What’s your daddy doing huh?” He heard Fili murmur.  “Is he feeding your baby sister Neali?  Is that the problem?  Are the two of you hungry?”

“As soon as I’m done with--”

“I can go for the wet nurse,” Fili suggested.

“No.” Kili shook his head in return as he moved carefully into their bedroom and sat down on the bed, propping himself against the headboard as Das continued to nurse.  “I’ve been managing to feed them both on my own.”

“Right.” Fili flinched.  “I should know that.”

“It’s--”

“Don’t say it’s fine,” Fili said as he sat down beside Kili, still cradling a now cooing Neali.

“There now,” he bounced the baby tenderly.  “You’re not even hungry are you?  No, you’re just fussing because your baby sister is hungry?  Aren’t you?  You’re trying to look out for Das aren’t you?  Such a good boy.  A good, strong son.”

“Fili?” Kili looked at him, his eyes wide.

Fili let go of Neali with one hand and used it to cup Kili’s cheek.  “Thank you for my children.”

“You’re--”

_“Both of my children.”_

“So we’re okay?” Kili asked.  “Me and you?  Are we okay?”

“Not yet,” Fili said quietly and Kili felt his face fall.  “But I’m working very hard on it.”

“You’re working on it?”

“So this is what we’re going to do,” Fili kissed him gently.  “We aren’t going to discuss it anymore.  Never again.  Tomorrow I’ll go to Thorin and demand to make Neali legitimate.  I’ll name him as my heir and then from now on, in my mind at least, they’re twins.  They were born together and they’ll be raised together and I won’t allow anyone to suggest that they aren’t both our beautiful, royal, perfectly loved children.”

“You want to raise them as brother and sister?” Kili asked.  “Truly?  Both of them will be legitimate?”

“They are _our_ children,” Fili pressed another kiss against his forehead.  “And I won’t treat them any different or allow anyone else to for that matter.”

“Thank you,” Kili whispered, his heart aching with gratitude as Das slipped his nipple out of her mouth and began to squirm.  He shifted her onto his shoulder and patted her a few times before she let out a loud, resonating burp. Neali cooed in delight and he couldn’t help smiling at the way his son seemed impressed with his daughters belching prowess.

“What about us?” Kili asked as he stood and took Das over to place her in the bassinet and then reached over so that Fili could hand him Neali as well.  Once the babies were in their basket they wrapped around each other, snuggling as they began to coo at each other.

“This is the first time they’ve been quiet in days,” Kili sighed.

“Come here,” Fili slipped his hands around Kili’s waist and urged him toward the bed. Kili lay down beside him and curled into Fili’s side.

“I love you,” Kili whispered into his brother’s shoulder.

“I love you too,” Fili pressed a kiss into Kili’s hair.  “I love you so much.  And I’m trying to forgive you.  I am.  It’s just going to take time.”

“What should I do?” Kili asked.

“Just be here,” Fili said into his hair.  “Just be here for me and give me time.  And promise me something?”

“Anything you want.  No matter what it is.” Kili promised.  “I’ll do anything.”

“The next time you get upset about something.  Or curious.  Or other dwarves say something that makes you feel like you’re less because you’re a dwarran... You come to me.  Okay?  You come to me and we talk.  Can you promise me that?” Fili fixed him in his gaze.

“Yes.” Kili nodded.  “From now on we’ll talk.”

“And we’re going to start now,” Fili said.

“What?” Kili raised an eyebrow at him.

“Well,” Fili said.  “What else should we do?  We can’t exactly have make up sex now can we?”

“No.” Kili gave him a tiny smile and scooted closer then yawned.

“First,” Fili said as he stood and began peeling his clothes off.

“Fili?”

“How long has it been since you slept?  Properly slept that is?”

“Since the day Neali arrived,” Kili said.  “I haven’t slept well since we fell out.”

“Me neither.” Fili said.  “So what we’re going to do is this: we’re going to get into our nightshirts again, and then we’ll curl up in bed and stay there.  We can talk, and sleep and play with our children and just reconnect with each other.”

“Okay.” Kili nodded as he stood and began pulling his own clothes off, reaching for the maternity nightshirt he’d only taken off a few hours earlier.  He slipped on the nightshirt and then let Fili help him into their bed before watching the other dwarf pull on his own nightshirt before he slid into bed beside him and wrapped his arms around Kili, pulling him to his chest.

“So what do you want to talk about?” Kili asked.

“Anything.  Everything.”

“Why do you want me to go back on the herbs?” Kili asked.

“The midwife said it would be for the best,” Fili answered.  “She said that your body couldn’t handle having lots of children close together.  That it would kill you.”

Kili snorted.  “She only said that because mother pulled her to the side and asked her to warn you off.”

“What?”

“She said that if only there was some way to convince you not to make me go through that again,” Kili whispered.  “And I tried to tell them that it was fine.  That I was fine but, well...”

“You were in the middle of pushing out a half stone dwarrow?” Fili pressed another kiss into the top of his head and tightened his grip on Kili.  “So you were a bit distracted?”

“Yes.” Kili whispered.  “Distracted would be the word for it.  But I don’t want to wait between children.  I want to do like we planned when we were talking about starting a family before.”

Before... He dropped his head back against Fili’s shoulder.  Before Thorin came to them and asked them to come along on the quest for Erebor.  Before he’d bribed Fili to come along.  Manipulated them into giving up their home and risking their lives so Thorin, the uncle who had cast them out, could win himself a crown.

“I’ll make you a deal,” Fili said.

“What?”

“Take the herbs until we get back to Erud Luin in the spring.”

“Erud...”

“You said that you wanted to go back with Bofur.  Open the store again.  Let me reopen the forge.”

“And you’re willing to do that?” Kili asked.  “You’re willing to go back there, to a place where you’re just another dwarf and not the heir to a kingdom?”

“I was happier when I was just another dwarf with a forge and a lovely dwarran to warm my bed.  _We were happier then_.”

“We were poorer then.”

“We still have 2/13 of the treasure of Erebor and we’ll be taking it with us.  Enough for you to use some of it to invest in a better store with Bofur, and for me to improve the forge, to expand and hire a few more dwarves and some apprentices to help.  And we’ll buy a little cottage.  The one with the roses near the door that you always liked so much.”

“Will we?” Kili asked.

“And if we can’t buy that one,” Fili snuggled him.  “I’ll build you one just like it and make the apprentice I hire plant you roses.”

“And children?”

“Once we’ve reached the Blue Mountains again, if you still want to have a child, we’ll go to the midwife there.”

“But--”

“If she says that it’s okay for you to have another child then we will.  As many as you want and your health will allow for.  But not until we reach Erud Luin.  We don’t want to try to travel with you in that state.  Agreed?”

“Agreed.” Kili nodded.  “I don’t think I’d want to even think about giving birth in the back of a wagon.  But Fili?”

“Hmmm?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Coming back.”

“When you stormed into that room looking so fierce and angry and oh so lovely,” Fili pressed a kiss to his lip.  “I knew there was no way that I could stay away.  Now come on, the babies have gone to sleep.  Let’s take a nap.”

“That,” Kili slid down to lay against the pillows and let his eyes flutter shut.  “That sounds marvellous.” 


	11. Chapter 11

“Fili?” He called out as he came back to the room after his thirty day checkup with the midwife.  The first time he’d properly left the room in thirty days.  Not including his trip to his uncle’s room ten days ago to force his mate to come back to him.

His back hurt, his breasts were aching, and his head was killing him from dealing with the midwife and his mother both.  It had been fucking intolerable.  All Dis had wanted to do was bitch about Fili and how he’d ruined poor Kili.  How much better it would be if they could have arranged an annulment.  If he’d have just gone to Thorin the first time he got pregnant all those years ago now he’d be a consort and his son would be the heir to a king.

The midwife hadn’t made it through his exam before Kili had stood up, pulled his clothes back on and stormed out of her clinic, leaving the sour faced woman and his mother behind.  And he didn’t manage to get the herbs he needed for when he and Fili began indulging in bed sports again.  He’d have to go back for them at some point.  Damn it.

“Fili?”

“In here.” He heard his brother’s low rumble and he slunk into the bedroom, surprised to see the room bathed in candlelight, two tankards on the nightstand, and absolutely not a stitch of clothing on his brother.

“Fili?” His eyebrows raised.  “What’s going-- Where are the children?”

“Bilbo and Thorin are watching them,” Fili said.

“But--” Kili started to turn and Fili grabbed his tunic, stopping him.

“They’ll be fine for the night.  The wet nurse is with them.”

“But--”

“I want to spend the night together.  Just the two of us.”

“The two of...” Kili swallowed, suddenly nervous.  Not that he’d expected Fili to hurt him but at the same time, he had shoved a half stone dwarrow out of a certain area thirty days ago and now Fili wanted to stuff something  up there?

The last time, well the last time he’d gotten ill.  There had been a fever and Fili had spent two weeks sure that he’d die and follow their son into the Halls of Waiting.  Then the sadness had taken him and he’d barely been able to eat, much less consider making love for the next year. Fili hadn’t been much better.  All told, it had been almost eighteen months after their first child was born before Fili had climbed in his bed to do anything more than sleep.

“It hasn’t been forty days yet,” he blurted out.

“No.” Fili stepped closer and put his hands on Kili’s hips, before trailing his nose along Kili’s neck.  “It hasn’t been.”

“I thought you didn’t want to do anything until the full confinement had passed?” Kili whimpered as Fili began undoing the toggles on his tunic and pushed it off of his shoulders.

“I didn’t say that,” Fili murmured as he began to place gentle, reverential kisses on Kili’s collarbones and up to his neck.  “I said that I didn’t want to take you until after your confinement is up.  Another ten days before I can mount you.”

“So you want...” Kili gasped as Fili nipped at his jaw.

“I am going to strip every stitch of clothing off you,” Fili whispered into his skin.  “And then I’m going to lick my way all over your body.  And once that’s done?”

“Once that’s done?” Kili whimpered.

“Once that’s done and you’re all relaxed,” Fili said, “I’m going to roll us over, open my legs, and let you find out what it’s like to sink your sword into dwarven flesh.”

“What?” Kili’s eyes widened.

“I want you,” Fili nipped at his earlobe.  “To take me.”

“Take you?” Kili panted and started to urge Fili back towards the bed as his hands went for his own laces and he started tearing at them.

“Take me,” Fili agreed.  “I want you to take me.”

“Okay.” Kili nodded as he pushed his brother on the bed and shucked his trousers and shoved his tunic off his arms, all the while kicking off his boots. 

“But I thought I was going to be the one to strip you naked,” Fili said.  “Then there was the whole plan to--”

“Yes I know,” Kili nodded as he managed to finally get his boots off and kicked off his trousers, his cock already hard.  “You were going to strip me naked and lick me all over and we will definitely do that.  But not now.”

“So what are we going to be doing now then?”

“I...” Kili dropped to his knees in front of Fili and started mouthing at his brother’s swollen cock.

“You?” Fili asked.

“I’m going to sblow you till your brains leak out your ears and fuck you till you can’t walk tomorrow.”

“Um...” He watched as Fili swallowed, his throat working convulsively.  “Okay?”

“You are so amazing,” Kili whispered, determined to make this good for his brother.  Better than it had been the first time they’d made love to each other.  They were ten years older and they knew a lot more than they had during those first, not-so-innocent fumblings when Kili had gone into bloom back in Erud Luin.  This time there would be no hormone driven lust forcing them to move faster, harder, no urge to be bred right the fuck now.  They could go slower this time.

“I’m trying to be,” Fili gasped and Kili started to run his tongue along the thick vein on the underside of his brother’s cock, teasing around the head, making his brother whimper.  He licked around the head once and then swallowed his brother down, without giving him any warning and he heard Fili groan in delight.

He kept sucking, relaxing his throat and taking Fili deeper with each bob of his head until his brother’s hips started to shift, tiny jerks up and down from where he was trying his hardest not to thrust up into Kili’s mouth. 

That wouldn’t do, he decided.  There was no reason for Fili to be able to control anything tonight.  He started sucking harder, hollowing out his cheeks and let his fingers slip back to tease at his brother’s entrance.

“Oil,” Fili gasped.  “There’s oil on the table.”

“Mmmm,” Kili agreed, not taking his mouth off Fili as he started patting along the tabletop, looking for the oil blindly.  Thankfully h it had only taken him a moment to find the oil one handed as he continued to suck, fondling Fili’s balls with his other hand.

“Oh Mahal,” Fili groaned.  “Kili if you don’t stop I’m going to--”

He pressed the vial of oil into Fili’s trembling hand and held his own out for Fili to coat his fingers.  He felt warm, thick oil drizzled over his fingers and as soon as they were slicked he pulled his hand back down and began to tease at Fili’s entrance again.

He slid the first finger inside Fili, twisting and curving his finger slightly, searching for his brother’s prostate as he sucked harder and Fili jerked once, feebly, before thick, warm seed filled Kili’s mouth.

“By all the Valar,” Fili moaned as Kili swallowed him down one last time and then licked him clean.  “I didn’t mean to--”

“I wanted you to relax for me,” Kili murmured.  “It will make things easier for you.”

“Right.” Fili nodded.  “I should have known that.”

“You do know that,” Kili whispered as he began pushing slowly in and out of his brother’s arse with his finger and Fili’s hips began to move in time with him.  “There’s just a part of you that doesn’t want this to be easy.  You want it to be punishment.”

“It’s--”

“Nothing that’s happened has been your fault.” Kili slid a second finger in and watched his brother squirm.  “And I won’t use love making to punish you.”

“This isn’t about--”

“Yes it is,” Kili murmured as he stretched his brother further and felt his muscles give.  “Otherwise we wouldn’t be doing it.”

“We should have done it ten years ago,” Fili murmured.  “I should have let you know ten years ago that we were equals.  That I didn’t see you as weak or womanly.  I should have known you were curious and we should have tried it then.”

“It’s okay.” Kili added a third finger and watched Fili begin to squirm even more, panting as he worked his fingers in and out of his brother.

“We’ll do better from now on.” Fili promised him.  “We’ll make our marriage better.  Stronger.”

“We are stronger,” Kili murmured as he slipped his fingers out of his brother and laced his arms underneath his One’s legs and shifted him onto the bed.  “We’re stronger because we both want this.  We both want to fight to keep this.”

He watched as Fili parted his legs and he climbed between them, taking the oil from his brother and slicked his cock.  “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked.

“Yes.” Fili nodded, his blue eyes hooded and dark and then spread his legs even further for him.

“I love you.” Kili dropped forward onto his hands and pressed a kiss to his brother’s lips.  “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Fili murmured.  “Now will you please fuck me already?”

“With pleasure,” Kili said as he pulled back slightly and gripped his cock, pressing it against Fili’s entrance.  He managed to press his tip inside and tried not to swear at how hot and tight his brother was.

“Oh sweet Mahal,” Kili groaned as he managed to work his way further into Fili’s tight heat.  “Oh this is...”

Fili whimpered slightly below him and he looked down and saw that his brother’s face was contorted with what looked like a mixture of agony and pleasure.

“Just relax atamanel,” he whispered as he pressed kisses into his brother’s jaw.  “Just breathe for me and relax.  It’ll be better soon.”

Fili nodded tightly as Kili began to push deeper, trying his hardest to go slow and not just sink down into his brother like a heathen. 

“I love you,” Kili whispered into his hair as he finally sunk all the way into him.  “Fili I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Fili gasped as he began to shift his hips upward.

“Shh baby,” Kili urged, meeting Fili’s hips with his own as he moved slowly against him.  “Just let me do the work.”

“Then do it,” Fili said through gritted teeth.  “Make love to me already.”

“Yes dear,” Kili thrust forward, pressing against his brother’s prostate and Fili arched against him once before pinching him on the arse.

“If you’re going to get sassy,” Fili said as he thrust against him again.  “We can stop right now and I’ll put my clothes back on.”

“Not bloody likely,” Kili growled as he began to thrust eagerly, his body already starting to ache.  He knew he wouldn’t last long and he wrapped his free hand around his brother’s once again hard cock.

“Oh shit Kili,” Fili moaned as they began to move against each other, harder, and with more of a purpose this time.

“I’m going to come,” Kili moaned.  “Oh gods I’m not going to last Fili.  I’m not going to--”

He choked as his balls tightened and he came without warning, deep inside his brother.

“I--” Fili choked as Kili started striping his cock harder, faster, and soon his brother was coming under his hands, shaking and swearing as he did so.

“I love you,” Kili said as he slipped free of his brother’s delicious heat and dropped down on the bed beside him.

“I love you too,” Fili sighed and tried to shift, wincing as he did so.

“And that,” Kili whispered as he pulled his brother closer.  “Was amazing.”

“It was certainly an experience,” Fili agreed.

“It was.” Kili cuddled closer and swiped his thumb along the tears he saw in the corner of Fili’s eyes.  His brother had let him mount him.  He the dwarran had mounted the dwarf.  Even though it was one of the most taboo acts in dwarven sexuality.  And while he had loved it, he knew his brother had only done it to help heal the rift between them and he didn’t want that.  Their love making should be something they both did because they wanted to, because they enjoyed it, and most of all because they loved each other.

“Did you--” Fili nuzzled closer.  “Did you enjoy it?”

“I did,” Kili whispered as he pressed a kiss into his brother’s hair and rubbed his back.  “But I can go another ten years before we do it again.”

“Truly?” Fili asked and Kili shifted against him.

“As fabulous as your arse felt,” Kili couldn’t help but smile as Fili shifted against him, uncomfortable.  “I prefer being on bottom.”

“What?”

“I said,” Kili swallowed.  “I missed the feel of you filling me.  I don’t feel complete without you inside of me.”

“I don’t feel complete without you either.” Fili whispered.  “I never have and I never will.”


	12. Chapter 12

He wasn’t going to look, he reminded himself as he fixed the straps on the pack horse that would be carrying part of their supplies.  He wasn’t going to look back. Kili had the right to tell his mother and Thorin goodbye if he wanted to.  He had the right to say good-bye to all of this if that was what he wanted.

He bit his lower lip and tried to ignore the way his hands were shaking.  His brother had the right to say good-bye if he wanted to, even though they’d spent the past four months fighting with Thorin.  And Dis... He swallowed.  Dis had spent the past four months trying to convince Kili to leave him.  To let him abdicate and then Kili could stay and live with honor as the mother of the future king.  The future regent.

Kili had refused her of course.  Just as he’d refused Thorin and all his overtures to stay.  They were going home.  Back to Erud Luin.  And they were walking away from all the craziness of royalty and their families for the very last time.  Thorin had his kingdom back and now they were going home.  Back to where they belonged.

“You know you can still change your mind,” Thorin said from behind him and Fili stiffened.  “We can still go back to the way things were.  You could still inherit my throne. Neali could inherit it after you.  Or, if you and Kili had another son, a legitimate son--”

“Don’t.” Fili hissed.  “Don’t even say it Thorin.”

“I just don’t understand why you feel you need to do this.  We have our kingdom back.”

“No.” Fili said quietly.  “You have your kingdom back.  This is your home, not ours.  Besides, Kili wants to go back.  He doesn’t want to be far from...”

“We could pay for it’s upkeep,” Thorin said.  “Pay someone else to make sure the grave is taken care of.”

“No.” Fili shook his head.  “It’s not the same.  We paid someone to take care of it while we were on the quest and it’s not the same. Kili feels like he needs to do it himself.”

“This is madness,” Thorin said.  “You have a kingdom here, a treasury at your disposable.  I just don’t understand--”

“You don’t have to understand,” Fili snapped.  “Besides, we have plenty of money.”

“I still don’t see why--”

“You don’t have to see why,” Fili said again.  “Just give us our share of the treasure and--”

“Technically you were never meant to get a portion of the treasure,” Thorin said.

“Our contracts say that we’re entitled to one thirteenth of the remaining treasure each.  So two thirteenth.  You gave Bofur his share and I assume you’re here to give us ours.”

“Your mother wished to say good-bye as well,” Thorin said.

“I’m sure she did,” Fili muttered.  “And if she could convince Kili and the children to stay and leave our shares of the treasure in your storerooms, then that’s just as well too.”

“It’s complicated,” Thorin muttered.

“No, it’s not.” Fili said.  “You put Kili in my bed when we were nothing but children and you expected nothing to happen.  Then, when it did, instead of supporting us as your family, you threw us into the street and had nothing to do with either one of us until you needed us.  You left us alone-- when we needed you that winter you turned us away.  You didn’t want anything to do with us until it came time to reclaim your throne and then we were your nephews again.”

“We made mistakes,” Thorin said, his eyes not meeting Fili’s.

“He almost died that winter.” Fili said.  “Our son did die.  And you could have helped us.  You could have given us the money for the medications he needed.  For the doctors.”

“There was no way for us to know for certain that--”

“If you wouldn’t have disowned Kili then the doctors would have done more.  They’d have come sooner.  The midwife would have been there when the child was born and he wouldn’t have been alone in that room with no one but me and the forgemaster’s wife to bring our son into the world.”

Thorin flinched and when Fili looked over he could see that Kili was staring at him, holding both of their babies tight against his chest.

“Wagon’s loaded,” Bofur said gruffly and Fili felt the other dwarf’s warm presence behind him.  The dwarf who had taken his Kili as an apprentice when no one else would have him.  When it was only Bofur and the forgemasters who were willing to even help them.

“Just waiting for Kili to put the kiddies in their baskets and we can leave,” Bofur continued.  “If you two have said your good-byes?  And Thorin’s given you the three sacks of gold that are on his saddle bags that are part of our due.”

Part, Bofur had emphasized.  And he was right. Thorin was only giving them 1/50th each of their shares, claiming that he would send more each year as payment to them.  A steady stream of income that would come to them each year.  Or at least the greedy bastard claimed it would. Fili wasn’t so sure but what they were getting would be more than enough for a home, and to reopen the forge and invest in the toy shop that Bofur and Kili had planned.  More than enough to put some back for a rainy day as well.

“As you wish,” Thorin swallowed angrily, his jaw tight and stomped over to his horse and began to jerk the heavy satchels of gold free.

“Fili?” He looked over and saw Kili hovering at his shoulder.  “Is everything okay?”

“Fine.” Fili nodded.  “You still want to do this?  You still want to go back to Erud Luin?”

“Yes.” Kili agreed.  “I’m ready to go home.”

“Righ then,” Bofur said as he reached over and took Neali from Kili and settled him into the basket that they’d wedged in the back of the wagon and then he took Das and settled her in beside her brother before pulling blankets over both to keep them warm.  “Go and tell your mam and your uncle good-bye.  Both of you.”

“I’ve got nothing to say to--” Fili started.

“Go tell your mam good-bye,” Bofur said and pushed him towards her.

“Mother?” Fili said quietly as he made his way toward her.

“You’re taking him from me again,” she said bitterly.  “You can’t be happy to just let him be, you have to keep stealing him from me.”

“I’m not stealing him mother,” Fili said quietly.  “He’s my mate and he wants to return to Erud Luin.  I’m taking him.  So in effect mother, he’s stealing me.  Not that you’d care about that.”

“You were always your father’s son.”

“I’d say that I got the better end of the deal then,” Fili said and she flinched.  “Better to be Vali’s son then your’s.  Father would have never allowed you to do what you did after all.”

“You keep telling yourself that,” Dis snarled.

“Either way,” Fili said.  “We’re leaving.  If you ever want to come to Erud Luin to see Kili and the children I won’t stop you.  The choice is your’s. Good-bye mother.”

She didn’t say anything and he shook his head once before turning and heading back to the wagon where Bofur and Kili were waiting.  “Let’s go.”

“Did you and mam make peace?” Kili asked, his eyes hopeful.

“No.” Fili shook his head.  “We didn’t make peace Kili.  But I told her that anytime she wants to come see you and the children she’ll be welcome in our home.”

“Thank you.” Kili said as he climbed into the wagon beside him and Bofur mounted his horse, securing the lead for the pack horses to his saddle horn. 

“Are you sure you want to go?” Fili asked as he picked up the reins for the horses.

“Yes.” Kili nodded and leaned against his shoulder.  “Take me home Fili.  Please.”

He nodded once and then kissed his brother on the forehead, smiling as he heard his children cooing at each other in their basket.  He clicked the reins once and started the horses forward as Bofur tapped his heels against his horse’s flanks and they started away from the mountain.  He felt Kili look back once and then leaned his head against Fili’s shoulder again.  “Aren’t you going to look back?” Kili asked.

“There’s nothing there I need to remember,” Fili said.  “Everything I need is right here.”


End file.
